Maine kal ko dekha!

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Finally the strike is over and the Bollywood summer has begun. Technically ‘99‘ was the first film after the truce, but ‘Kal Kissne Dekha‘ truly heralds the commencement of the bollywood summer. With almost seven movies lined up back-to-back, it truly promises to out do the competition from the west. It also reunites us with our fetish for horrible cinema and what a way to begin. Big budgets and mega hyped debuts are always a candidate for disaster and this time their dream launch vehicle does the needful. How many times have we seen this happen, where star kids in the midst of all the fanfare have seen their dreams squashed by the box office. This Friday consumed two more star kids, as they failed to clear the acid test of the box office. One would assume that the strike would give our writers some much needed rest to re-charge their imagination, which actually translates to restocking their video library with more foreign DVDs.

>> Of star kids and failed debuts

Words from the father

We generally don’t have a family promotion program but this is a rare guest post from the big man. It began as a comment to the previous post but then ended up being a guest post. Not sure if this will be a regular feature, for he seems to have an awful lot of time on his hands. But then here are some insights, few of which I had no idea about from the big man who we shall for now call Pappu Pager! Well if I’m Munna Mobile he can easily be Pappu Pager and references to an ARR song from ‘Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na‘ shall not be tolerated. Also you can now see where he got his wit from, living with me sure has its advantages!

>> Of Mobile phones and Captain Gopinath

Azadi dil ki

Hello 98210262612 BPL? cha!
Arre 98200262635 maxtouch? cha!
Yaar jis ladki ko patane ka
Wohi phone pe nahi aati kya

What is mobile number, What is your smile number
Karni hain private baatein, What is your private number
Kaha se tu aati hain darling kaha ko tu jaati hain
Aake jaake aaise kyo dil ko tapdati hain

What is your style number, Karu kya dial number
Hoga phir aana jaana, Dede koi easy number
Kaha se tu aata hain darling kaha ko tu jaata hain
Aake jaake aaise kyo dil ko tapdata hain

>>Of phones, features, and freedom

Poll poll din ke paas

Sat sri akal and a copy to all, this is your friend philosopher and guide Baba Bangali along with our resident reporter Munna Mobile coming to you live from our bunker in the hinterlands. We’re stationed in a bunker because of the nature of information we deal with. You read the regular stuff in the papers and news channels but our constant endeavors are always to go beyond the headlines. With the election fever dying down and the IPL at it’s closing stages, it’s time to take a breather. The elections also fondly called the ‘Great Indian Tamasha‘ has provided us with loads of entertainment and has kept the psephologists busy. With news channels trying to get ahead on exit polls in the race to be counted as the most accurate, they think they can fool us by calling it as statistics when it really is good ol’ sattebaazi. This Election was even more interesting as it was not only fought at the so-called grassroots level but also on the web with social media as a powerful weapon. There were therefore a deluge of ghost blogs and twitter accounts that were set up by representatives of the candidates.
>> Baba Bangali on Twitter

Maa da ladla

Mother, do you think they’ll drop the bomb?
Mother, do you think they’ll like this song?
Mother, do you think they’ll try to break my balls?
Mother, should I build the wall?
Mother, should I run for President?
Mother, should I trust the government?
Mother, will they put me in the firing line?
Is it just a waste of time?
Hush now baby, baby, don’t you cry
Momma’s gonna put all of her fears into you
Momma’s gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won’t let you fly, but she might let you sing
Momma’s will keep Baby cozy and warm
Ooo Babe, of course Momma’s gonna help build the wall
>> Hold me momma!

There exists a god in the freezer

It’s been a while since we’ve got anything out of the bunker, a much needed vacation, election news and the cricket tamasha have been keeping us busy these days. It also means that our sleep cycles have been put out of sync which results in drowsy meetings! This past weekend we got a jolt straight from heaven that jump-started our blogging juices and hence this post. Sometime last week, top chef N sent me a url asking for my opinion which essentially means silly yet nonsensical comments! At first I felt it was the story of some whiz kid since N has a fetish for awe inspiring and inspirational stuff, but then having known me it’s quite certain that she would reserve such stuff for classier audiences. A closer look allayed all my fears of N suddenly discovering shards of intelligence in me, the article was about a ‘Creation Science Fair‘ and well in my alley. Regular readers will know that I’m not quite a rationalist and hence I shall try to write this post with a straight face which seems to get exceedingly difficult byt he passing minute. Oh we sure believe in God for after all we have an in-house philosopher who regularly chats them up for spicy banters that get featured in this space! However we clearly know where to draw the line and never mix religion and science, the former relies on faith while the latter is driven by logic. It’s almost like walking to a bar and asking for a shot of ‘vibhuti‘ and vodka, the two can never be found in the same place unless you are a priest masquerading as a DJ at night to earn some extra cash! Now that we have cleared that out, folks waiting to flame us for slandering religion can take a hike. It sure was entertaining and at the same time discomforting to know that the future of a country would be shaped by kids like these. Read on as we dissect some of the experiments and also demonstrate one of our own!

>> My experiments with cold

Raam tune kya kiya

Bhaktas, politicians and terrorists this is Baba Bangali making an appearance at this space after a long time. This past week was Ram Navami and since the elections are around the corner, we decided to feature our most psephologist friendly deity this election season. There have been many deities who’ve had an objectionable streak but there is only one who flirts with controversy like Yuvraj Singh with a ball outside the off stump. If controversy were a religion then there could be only one true god and that would be my friend Shri Rama(SR). While he had his share of controversy during his time after facing a torrid time in exile and having his wife kidnapped. He had to cross the ocean on a man-made monkey-made bridge and fight an army of demons to retrieve his wife. If that was not all he had to banish her to the forest not to mention asking her to walk through flames to prove her devotion. Now after such an episode you’d expect to have a peaceful afterlife with your portraits hung in homes and devotees singing hymns. Only if things would go as planned, but do they ever? He has the privilege of being dragged into demolition of mosques, burning of trains, dredging of limestone shoals and even beating up young women. All this is not including the various promises made in temple construction and political mud slinging on election manifestos. Who’d even dreamt that the son of Dasharatha would go on to be embroiled in controversies centuries after his time. It’s often said that though we chose our paths, what ever is destined eventually will happen and not even deities can escape from fate. At the same time who’d ever thought that he’d drop by this blog for a chat with me and an exclusive feature like never before. So lets welcome my buddy SR as we get chatty on controversies, politics, some mythology and bridges.
>>It’s Rama in the flesh

No singles left to mingle

India is growing dynamically in every field. Today, the boom in economy, innovative technologies and improved infrastructure has become nation’s pride. The country has witnessed advancements in all fields but bias against a girl child is still prevailing in the country. India is one of the few countries where selective sex gender bias exists till today. The onslaught of feminism has not allowed Indian women to revolt against the century old systems. For centuries together women have played their roles of being the provider and sustainer of families without even a thank you note at the end of their lives. It has been proven where ever women have been given freedom they have changed the world and made a better place to live in. Now all these heavy dialogs may give you the wrong impression but let us clear that air. We totally support women and the cause of the girl child, but today we are here to voice our opinion against single women. It is true that there is a dearth of single women all over and the shortage is even acute when it comes to desi women. It is often said that what goes around comes around, not sure if that’s true but hurling a ball at a wall will surely rebound. All these years of oppression and heinous acts like foeticide, infanticide and selective human breeding has come back to kick us in the nuts.
>>The problem, supporting numbers and some possible reasons

The 2009 Dandanakka Awards – Part 2

Someone once said, with great power comes great responsibility, we say with great
traffic
comes even
greater expectationwith great traffic comes even greater expectation. We left our previous post in the air with the promise to come back with more and the hits have been flowing ever since. Thanks to the kind hearted folks at DP who linked to us, a lot of you have been waiting for part two. We’ve racked our brains to come up with something readable but like all sequels this may not match up to the previous one. We were contemplating a lifetime achievement award but then it seemed a misnomer considering the fact that these are not quite achievements,a also that it would be very difficult to shortlist nominees! We’ve watched every one of these movies that have been nominated and are proud of our feats and hope to repeat it in the coming years. This years flop-fest has already begun, while we are yet in the first quarter and it looks a lot promising. We hope you like these awards and any feedback is appreciated.

>> The awards continue

The 2009 Dandanakka Awards – Part 1

It’s that time of the year when we salute
the
worst in
Indian cinemawe salute the worst in Indian cinema. It’s not everyday that we recognize the efforts of these filmmakers who put in hours of work to churn out box office duds. These duds are relegated to the depths of the box office under the heavy weight blockbusters every year. What began as a stroke of misfortune, turned out into a hobby as I opened up to the world of horrible cinema. You might be thinking that I’m referring to movies that titillate the masses with scantily clad heroines prancing around in their high heels, crass comedy, vulgar dialogs, bad actors with constipated expressions, amateur music directors, freestyle-aerobics-type-choreography, gaudy make up, you get the drift. One look at the nominees and you’ll notice that it’s mainstream cinema we’re talking of. It was an arduous task to endure all these duds, some were so painful that I was afraid to fall asleep fearing nightmares. The 10-15 blockbusters that we manage to churn out each year sweep the popular award ceremonies, we therefore cater to the close-to-150 movies that fail to make the cut. We began this trend last year with a post that became extremely popular, and we return to continue the tradition and make this a regular feature at this space. There may be many other similar award blogs this year, but then lets live and let live!
The much awaited awards are here!