You don’t have to be a feminist to argue that in Hindi Cinema women often get a raw deal. They are generally reduced to dancing in the Alps in a crepe saree, heckled by goons before the hero takes them to the cleaners, abducted and tied to a chair in the villains lair, or my favorite part rain songs! It’s not very often that you see a woman in badass character, holding the men by their balls. Nor do you see someone chew and spit out one of the biggest names in theater like a piece of sugarcane. Female characters are generally so well etched, and very rarely match up to their male counterparts, forget overpowering them. Now I’m not referring to Vijayshanti-type movies like Tejaswini where she’s an inspector dishing out justice to the womanizers , corrupt politicians and drug lords. Also I don’t wish to send the wrong message across when I mentioned the holding balls part, this isn’t a Zakhmi Aurat type movie tribute either. That reminds me Raj Babbar made a career doing such movies, didn’t he? After all not all movies need to go the Khoon Bhari Maang way, with a bruised and battered heroine, rising from the ashes like a phoenix to take down the ones who caused her pain.
>> Neelambari, Umrao Jaan and Tamanchas
Meter running with latest matter
The ceiling features a circular stone mural, marble elephants stare at you from the four corners of the room, red sandstone grills provide ample ventilation as the morning rays filter through them. Little bells on the door jingle each time as someone walks by them or the icy Delhi winds remind you of what time it is. All this as I am reaching a crescendo on ‘pyaar tera dilli ki sardi‘, and taking a leak in the swanky urinal at the Rashtrapathi Bhavan. I now feel bad for Auro in ‘Paa‘ who returned back to his hotel, just because he didn’t want to go potty in the Presidents latrine! Oh guess what, the flush chimes ‘Sare jahan se acha’ as I make my way to the durbarr hall. I’m sure by now regulars would have figured where this is going, but let me reiterate for the others. This is resident journalist and reporter par excellence, Munna Mobile reporting live from the Presidents residence on the occasion of India’s 61st Republic Day. Last year we had that conman godman Baba Bangali who chatted up the architect of our constitution. Well my interviews are atleast with real people, but then I dare not incur his wrath and will shut up. Our first woman president is quite a character and has consented to do a piece for this space. It must be tough after her most strenuous day of the year, that includes standing and talking for 60 minutes. Let’s try to keep it clean as Her Excellency The Honorable President of The Union of India, Smt.Pratibha Patil (PP) makes her first ever social media appearance.
Spirits, Sugar, and Sukhois
Friends, Gults and Telanganamen, lend me your beers. Budweiser, Corona and Heineken don’t match Kingfisher or even Haywards 5000 and are relegated to Horse piss. Reporting form the riot-stricken streets of Hyderabad, wearing pink to avoid being pounded, this is ace reporter and journalist par excellence Munna Mobile. I know I can put Arnab Goswami to shame, when it comes to self-aggrandizing oneself, but he is atleast good competition. I shall even go on to state on record that my emergence in journalism has been stemmed by #arnabforpm. If not for him, you’d see me pwn even big time groaners like Glen Beck and Lou Doubbs. This post is not about alcoholic beverages nor is it about the exploits of toddy liquor baron Vijay Mallya. Having pimped my already inflated ego by heaving praises on myself, I shall let you in on my investigations. Over the past few months, this state has been grappled by bandhs, rasta-rokos, self-immolation, other forms of suicides, sexually hyperactive octogenarians, pink chaddi wearing politicos, and last but not the least my two favorite people Chetan Bhagat and Lalit Modi. We at DappanKoothu have decided to show our fondness towards these two wonderful citizens, by pulling them into every post that is generated for this space in the coming months.
>> Pink, Farmville, IPL and Bhagat vs Tiwari
We would like to acknowledge the positive feedback we received for Part-1 of this compilation. Despite getting requests for similar lists in Tamil and Telugu, we chose to refrain because those lists would go into multiple parts. We however promise to make this a regular feature and hope it would serve as a guide to the Dandanakka awards that we run during the awards season. If our stats are accurate then we’ve watched close to 65 of the movies releases for 2009, which still falls short of our target of 75 a year. I however blame it on the strike that rendered the Bollywood summer a tad dry, however Hollywood made up for that with some blockbuster releases. We do wish to give a shout out to Sherlock Holmes, the Guy Ritchie mega-buster as our pick of the year. Some stunning visuals, a tad clichéd maybe but some witty lines and fascinating direction
>> Our candidates for the worst of 2009
Another year crawls to an end and that means it is time we looked back at the fruits, our beloved Hindi cinema gave us. With everyone compiling their own lists of the best movies of the year and arguing over their choices, we prefer to ignore them. We aren’t going to squabble over why Kaminey was a better movie than Wake up Sid, or why Paa ought to beat Delhi-6. Instead we prefer to focus on the back of the line and movies that don’t quite get the respect they deserve. While people love to rave about the best movies, the rest are often ignored. Here at DappanKoothu we love all movies both good and bad across the three major movie industries in the country. If anyone of you wishes to accuse us of being partial towards the Tamil, Telugu and Hindi industries, then you are free to do so. There may be good mallu and bong films that win those national awards, but then they don’t churn out 200+ movies a year and none of their budgets run into crores. We shall therefore rephrase our previous statement, at DappanKoothu we pander to the big budget film industries for their wholesome masala entertainment!
>> Our candidates for the worst of 2009
Ah friends, we meet again! Myself Baba Bangali, resident astrologer, philosopher and everything-man for this space.It has been a while since I was last here, and I’m here to ring in the festive spirit. The occasion is actually to mark the birth of my buddy JC, and our initial plan was to have him grace this space. Following the strange fangirl assault on his favorite disciple, he has been advised to stay away from all public appearances. Too bad we couldn’t have our man JC, and we were lucky to get the next best thing. Wearing red with a towering personality and living at the north pole, we bring you the favorite son of Christmas. He may be known by many names all over the world, but only I know his real roots for the two of us go way back. Sant Calausvarkar(SC) as he was originally named, was an extremely greedy kid who never let anyone play with his toys. He would even steal toys from other kids and rub his hands in glee as he watched them cry. One fine day, his cover was blown and to escape the wrath of his father, he ran away from home. He fled the country and crossed many lands, until he ended up in the north pole chasing the horizon. That is where he found his coming and ever since is a transformed man. having found the true joy of giving, he spends the year taking requests from all over the world and makes deliveries on Christmas eve. For those of you who think this is just another dose of gobledegook and are rolling you eyelids, wait till you hear this. The Latur born bundle of joy always answers in the affirmative only in his native tongue. Ask him if Rakhi Sawant is a dude and what does he say? Ho Ho Ho!
>>Sant Calausvarkar takes a peek at the year ahead
Well, you read it right and I did infact call you all idiots. Who else in the world would be insane enough to go watch a movie that claims its protagonists to be idiots.A friend argued with me that the movie was going to be a dramatic sketch about kids suffering from acute idiocy and how they cope up with everyday life. She also went ahead to add that it would be a poignant and touching tale that forces you to yank out your handkerchiefs! I don’t blame her for after all Indian cinema has always been fascinated with medical conditions right form the iconic lymphosarcoma of the intestine to the more recent ones like dyslexia and progeria. Apart from that she had a great sparkling voice which then gives her the license to go on and on without being interrupted! Thankfully for me and unfortunately for her, the movie turned out to be diametrically opposite to that she had expected. One more dramatic, self-pitying, senti-weep-fest and I was ready to shoot someone. We’ve had too many this year, while some have unintentionally been tear-jerkers for their high levels of absurdity. It was hence even more important that last big release of the year be atleast mildly funny.
Yes we did really say that! Before you issue a fatwa against us, hear us out atleast once. Afterall even we ought to have a chance to save our already dwindling number of readers. Reviews are generally out by the weekend at DappanKoothu, but this time we waited for the bugles to stop blaring. Despite having watched it on opening day, we chose to let the fanboys go gaga and thereby not ruining anyone’s party. We’ve actually had it with the deluge of tweets, status messages and facebook updates with everyone raving about it, multiple times a day. Come on, it is a good movie alright, but that doesn’t mean you affirm the same day after day! Now this isn’t like a lets-trash-avatar post, nor are we doing it to grab some eyeballs. Well frankly some eyeballs might actually help, but that isn’t the point here. Although it might be fun to start a hashtag like #pwnavatar or something witty like the guys do. Now we don’t have anything against the movie, it is a visual marvel, a great experience and a must watch in an IMAX preferably. Having said that and redeeming ourselves for the title, we shall now get into the reasons for our desecration.
>> Rajnikanth, Bachchan and Santoshi maa
Folks, this is Munna Mobile reporting from across the Atlantic or whichever water body is closest to here in Denmark. Since we don’t have a camera person or a cute news reader to talk to in the studio, we shall regale the motley crowd(for arguments sake lets assume atleast someone reads us) that reads this blog. After the stunning expose in our previous post, we bring you yet another sansani khez khulasa that will change the world! If the word Denmark failed to ring any bells then we shall do a brief flashback to inform you that this is where the world is debating on what is going to happen a 100yrs from now. Creationists may call it the wrath of khan God but our scientists will argue that the earth is heating up. While some may argue that it has been documented in the past that the earth will self-destruct and a few idiots have even milked the sentiment to churn million dollar blockbusters. On the other hand we have people who can’t tell you if it is gonna rain/snow tomorrow, but will give you exhaustive graphs, reports and stats of how it is going to be eons later. The only one thing certain is that even after all those years, Shahid Afridi will still be 18! We weren’t around when the Mayans made the predictions nor are we gonna be around a 100yrs later when things heat up!
Bhabhi, global warming and Ice creams
Brothers and their sisters, this is Munna Mobile reporting from the bunker bringing you news you cannot use! It was recently brought to our notice from a source who we wish to not reveal, about the existence of a weird phenomenon. Apparently what happened and we swear we aren’t fabricating details here, a cow was sighted lazily chewing on a fish. Now this isn’t like a smart metaphor we’re using for a popular celebrity/politician with a ravenous appetite. It is the real deal where a bovine grazer was spotted chomping on a succulent pomfret. Having tasted the forbidden fruit or as in our case the forbidden gilled being, the said bovine was banned from the stool-collection process. Before this begins to sound all hazy, we must elucidate that the urinal samples of bovines are often considered sacred and are a requirement for house-warming ceremonies. The said cattle must be pure and have a healthy dietary plan and that unfortunately doesn’t include fish. On account of this abnormal food craving, the samples were rendered unfit and the priest had our source chase another cow with a jar in hand.
>> The culinary choices of cattle
Yaar yessu yessu
tweet tweet tweetKrikits kaarner
-
Reesunt phillums vaatched:
-
2010-01-20 22:23
PNC films has done a lot of offbeat films and they don't disappoint this time as well. Strung around an interesting concept wherein a man doesnt seem to recollect his previous night of suspected debauchery, the movie keeps you guessing. Vinay Pathak, Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir Shorey are soon becoming a brat pack and this one has appearances by many names. Neha Dhupia looks ravishingly hot and runs away with an extra star for the movie!
0.3 -
2010-01-09 22:08
A movie that ought to have been made 10yrs ago, and may have worked back then. It shows what a guy SRK is, who honors favors for his friends who stuck by him during his struggling days. A hackneyed plot where in a rich-stud marries and abandons a village belle to fulfill his fathers will. She comes looking for him and is helped by a supermodel, who gets her a makeover and some etiquette. For the man who gave him 'Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman', SRK jumps into the water, wears some hideous suits and does a brief reprise of Sonu Sood's role in 'Ek Vivaah Aisi Bhi'. We hope there is an award for extended guest role of the year!
0.3 -
2010-01-09 21:54
The only man who comes close to Uday Chopra in delivering bumper flops is Bobby Deol. Then even he is bearable in multi-starrers and guest roles atleast. The scion of the Chopras will not just stop at acting, but will go on to write a story and produce it himself. He then gets a childhood friend to direct it, and the most bankable female star as a safety deposit. None of the above helps especially, when you try to pass of the story of a introvert geek who stalks the college hottie and wins her years later by writing a kickass software. CS guys all over the world need to revolt, we are be stereotyped and by Uday Chopra that too!
0.3
-
-
Pleej dont kaapy
Dappan Koothu by Maxdavinci is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.maambursheep
