Oops I ragged her again!

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As India yesterday celebrated Teachers Day to commemorate the birth of the second President of free India Radhakrishnan garu, I tried to recollect some of the horrible things I have done. I am not going to mislead anyone by claiming that I have been the teachers pet. I’d rather say that I was a teacher’s nightmare and my mom never attended any parent-teacher-meeting for she knew that she would always be in the firing line. I was always an out-standing student though, if you know what I’m talking about! The same continued in college and I only had virtual presence in class by proxy. My real attendance though was a 100%  in the volleyball court and the canteen.
>>I’m really sorry maam

Return of the JD

The image to the left may suggest that this post is going to be a watered down take on the greatest movie series ever. Regular reader will however be quick to spot the title and realize that this is the much awaited sequel to this post. For those who joined in late, JD was our Phy.Edu teacher in school who had a penchant for butchering the queens language. After a rather embarrassing incident during our quarterly exams, he took spoken English classes. The next few months were pretty incident free and we were always praying for some action. Our prayers were finally answered in February when the school announced an excursion to ‘Srisailam and Nagarjun Sagar‘. Our class teacher was unable to accompany us and therefore JD was to step in and take responsibility for us! The news of JD coming with us was more than the fact that us co-ed adolescent teens were going to spend two nights away from home. We were
in
the IXth
with our hormones
waiting to eruptWe were in the IXth with our hormones waiting to erupt, but it all took a backseat for JD was coming!

The evening before was spent in discussion of what the probable incidents could be and bets were being placed. We were least bothered about packing the stuff in the checklist provided or even staying away from amma for two days. I barely slept that night, not because it was going to be just us and the girls, but because JD was coming! It was 5:30 in the morning and we were all at school in our school uniforms and JD was calling out the roll count and collecting permission forms signed by the parents. The girls looked great with their hair let loose and makeup, hell I was 14 so shut up and continue reading! Most parents had come to drop of their wards and especially the folks of the girls. Each one of them wanted JD to take special care for their ward, it made us boys look like savages though! One maal-girl lets not take names now, had brought her little sister along. The little one very enthusiastically hopped on to the bus and refused to get off. She was barely in the IVth I guess and threw a small tantrum saying that she wanted to go with her sister.
>> JD in sublime form

Audio Review: Karzzz - Himsa Raagam

Regular readers of this blog will know that I am a ‘param bhakt‘ of ‘Shri Himeshwarji Maharaj‘. For those new to this space or ones with bad memory, click this post to read about my ‘apaar bhakti‘. Most of the famous desi portals have safely ignored carrying a review of the year’s biggest musical, Karzz. I therefore took it upon me to boldy
attempt
what no
man has ever
done beforeto boldy attempt what no man has ever done before. Bhaiyon aur unke Beheno, aap ke ijazat se pesh karta hoon. Strap on your seat belts and get ready to experience himessing¹ like never before! After a pulsating and breathtaking ‘Aap ka Suroor‘ (the CD still plays in my car!), karzzz seems like an undernourished kid in a concentration camp. With a heavy heart I have to admit that despite all my expectations, this one falls flat on it’s face. Karzz is a custom-made album for all the auto-richshaw-wallahs and hence features 9 tracks. If that didn’t satiate the Himesiatics², then the 10 remixed tracks will definitely do. Just imagine 19 tracks of Himeshwar Maharaj’s sublime crooning in every auto-rickshaw! How I wish if he didn’t have to sing every other song, do read on if you’re still interested! >> The so-called melodies

Poke me kanna one more time!

Bhaktas,

Today the world celebrates the birthday of the greatest lover in any mythology. I state this however with no offense to the Lord nor is this an attempt to malign his greatness. If my Bhakta’s from the HMK are reading this, then they can safely ignore it. The leela’s of
Krishna
are unparalleledleela’s of Krishna are unparalleled and we are too small to even comment on them.

The ‘rasa leela‘ takes place one night when the gopis of Vrindavan, upon hearing the sound of Krishna’s flute, sneak away from their households and families to the forest to dance with Krishna throughout the night, which Krishna supernaturally stretches to the length of one Night of Brahma, a Hindu unit of time lasting approximately 4.32 billion years. In the Krishna Bhakti traditions, the ‘rasa-leela‘ is considered to be one of the highest and most esoteric of Krishna’s pastimes. In these traditions, romantic love between human beings in the material world is seen as merely a diminished, illusionary reflection of the soul’s original, ecstatic spiritual love for Krishna, God, in the spiritual world.

>> Time for some fun

I speak bleak, you speak meek

We Indians are head and shoulders above all when it comes to butchering the English language. Any attempts to hand the Chinese a gold medal in this event will not be tolerated. They think that they speak English, whereas ours atleast remotely sounds like it! I was finishing up a post just as my friend ‘Kar‘ called to tell me of his new post. Having attended the same college and growing up in a similar environment(I went to a much better school though), I could instantly relate to the sequences. If you are looking for something more witty and funny then head over to ‘sthitapragnya‘, but do read on if you have nothing better to do.
>> JD, A new hope

Review: Bachna Ae Haseeno - Tribute to YashRaj

When you are a one of the most successful production house in the country with 7 flops in the last 8 movies, you definitely seek desperate measures! When you’ve tried every genre from wooing the kids to even bringing back your favorite diva in a comeback role, you need to go back to the drawing board and figure out what’s wrong. Yashraj has definitely done a lot of brainstorming and they’ve decided to visit their biggest success stories. Bachna Ae Haseeno does exactly that, and we see shades of all the biggest winners from the YashRaj stables. Ranbir Kapoor pays tribute to his father with the title song as it opens with the opening credits and that sets the mood for what follows. One thing that grabs your attention in it is the budget for clothing. With only a meter of cloth at their disposal, the women did well to save their dignity. It was hard for me to resist drooling, as my movie companion kept jabbing me in the chest every time I opened my mouth!
>> The nity grities

Pale white or pinkish white?

People who’ve known from close quarters will vouch for the fact that I’m a strong advocate for woman’s rights. This post may have served as an indicator for the keen eye, even otherwise I’m openly voicing my opinion in this post. In a world filled with chauvinists I don’t mind being called a feminist, and infact I think it’s cool! I also realize it’s high time I stop this self praise and cut to the chase if you may. If you have been watching any desi channels offlate or even the news, you can’t help but notice the Ponds commercials featuring Saif, Neha and Priyanka from blingtown. I actually like watching TV commercials for the creativity factor as opposed to people who switch channels during a break. This ad has every reason to hold on to the remote, for it features a former Miss World, a former Miss India and a blackbuck hunting Nawab of Pataudi. The reason I chose to name their titles is because inspite of having some impressive credentials they chose to endorse such a campaign. I’ve always had my differences with fairness creams for I personally feel that you cannot reverse pigmentation. You can only prevent the skin from getting tanned or clean the pores and make it look vibrant. But your color is what you are born with. Melanin and the variation of it’s concentration is genetic. You can only surgically change it, and we all know what happens then!
>> Are you colorblind?

Review: Singh is Kinng - Better seen on trucks

‘King se maut bhi aise darta hain jaise piracy se Bollywood‘. When a movie opens with such a cheesy line, you go and pull the flush in your head to wipe out all the hype and hope you’ve had. The only reason I sat through this movie was for a glimpse of the damsel on your left and the histrionics of the man they now call ‘Hit Machine‘. It seems to be a trend amongst filmmakers to cash in on an actor’s star value and milk the distributors. We saw it happen with Rajni in Kuselan and now in ‘Singh is Kinng‘. If you noticed an extra alphabet, then that’s not a typo but numerology! I don’t mean to belittle a thespian like Bachchan saab when I say this, but Akshay Kumar is the new King. Remember what the BigB did for movies like ‘Namak halaal‘, ‘Suhaag‘ etc, which would have sunk if not for him, Akki does the same for this generation. In my view ‘Welcome‘, ‘Hey Babyy‘, ‘Namastey London‘ and ‘Bhool Bhulaiya‘ were mediocre films, but hey ran packed houses and stood solely on the broad shoulders of Akki Babu.
>> Read along to see what I endured

Nonsencical Updates

Someone asked me if I have been going through a writers block, so let me clarify that no such thing exists. Fact is that I’m too dumb for blocks and all, it’s just that I’ve been spending time on researching plugins and tinkering with them. I’ve had a strong urge to increase the user experience on this page, and a war with PHP errors followed. After a couple of days of PHP tutorials and armed with firefox extensions for debugging, I’m back! Read on while I boast of the new features I’ve added!

Movie Ratings: I realized that I watch far too many films and obviously I don’t review all of them. Some times it’s 4-5 a week and that includes my lazy weekends. I’d like to have a say on each of them but they aren’t always blog-worthy. These ramblings now find a spot on my sidebar and also have a dedicated page with a ten-star rating system. I must however include that these are my views and the ratings are an indicator of how much I felt the movie was worth. The previous line goes without saying, but just making sure.
>>I’m famous

Review: Mission Istanbul - Kissin Miss and Bull

Bhaktas,

This is your friend, guide and philosopher, Baba Bangali. Before you think that this is another lame excuse to trash a movie, let me clarify. This not just another review and unlike others we don’t give the movie away nor do we comment on the abject performances. It sure was an ardous task but nevertheless I sat through it. Why you may ask, why does one inflict upon himself such acute agony. This time around there was a reason and it was this dame, She is a favorite at Dappan Koothu and we go to everything to cover her. If this isn’t a run-of-the-mill review then what is it, you may ask. Well Bhaktas, this shall be more of an advice column much like agony aunt. Only difference being that I’m not dealing with relationships but management mantras, image branding and career choices. Sounds interesting? Read on!
>>The Guru Speaks