Bhaktas, This is Baba Bangali and on behalf of everyone at Dappan Koothu, I take this opportunity to wish all our readers a very happy Vijaya Dasami. The scoop I did last year for the occasion was highly popular and I was looking for ways to repeat the same this year as well. Being highly connected in the world above gives me an all-access pass to get chatty with almost anyone I wish to. This time round we decided to get all the first ladies covered in one post. A host of questions were darting across my mind as I was making my way to our rendezvous point. Dee, Lux and Saras as I often call them, had already reached and were squabbling amongst themselves. Any great man will tell you that when you see an angry woman, the best you do is to shut up. So when the number is tripled, it is best to be invisible or better hide and observe. Lux and Saras were taking Dee to task for her exponentially growing popularity during the nine day festival. Read on to see what happened and the events as they unfolded.
“Enna Di, this is too much only these days, Navratri seems to be a solely Durga affair only“, bickered a normally calm Saras. The fact that she and Lux had smaller pandal idols when compared to the gargantuan idols that Dee enjoyed, was getting to her. “ Oye respect kothai? You girls better show me some respect and not your madrasi po-da po-di lingo. It’s not my fault that these people commemorate my nine-day battle with the bull-demon, after all I did save the day you know!” Dee was obviously beaming for she had just returned from savoring the pujo offerings as part of the nobhomi anjali at pandals all over. “Hun tamare mate shu karu, atleast one day is reserved for you when the kids put away their books and write your name in rice“, groaned a visibly upset Lux in her strong gujju accent bringing back memories of Ketaki Dave. Her angst was justified for atleast in the south the custom of vidyarambham was pretty famous wherein books were worshiped on Mahanavami as a symbolic reference to the godess of wisdom.
“I can sense your anger akka and relate to how you are feeling about this as well“, said Saras as she tried to comfort Lux. “Guess we need to hire some good publicists or atleast a PR agent. Humko mann ki shakti dena‘ type songs. There are some schools that make sanskrit a compulsory subject and open on Vijaya Dasami day thereby symbolically showing over-enthusiastic parents how they are guarding our culture.Hun kone sampark karu? Some avant grade image building is required to woo the bhaktas our way, else Dee is going to enjoy prime position year after year“. Lux was contemplating extreme measures to counter her dwindling popularity, more so since the new generation was oblivious to the goodness for the works like Amar Chitra katha etc. “Seriya chonne akka, I don’t have any temples dedicated to me as well, except for a handful. The only time these kids are reminded of my existence is when they recite the school prayer“, wailed a visibly angry Saras. The poor thing was pretty blind the the ultra-modern school systems these days where the morning prayers are more or rather general so as to steer clear of accusations of appeasing certain gods. In a bid to stay away from the secular forces, all you hear these days in schools is the ‘
“Tumi ki chai? That I give up everything? I can share the food with you girls if you want, that’s the most I can do“, gleamed Dee who was now disturbed by the motives of her fellow first ladies. “huge shami tree. “Ada Paavi, you’ve been eavesdropping on us all this while. Didnt your mommy not teach you any manners or atleast the courtesy to not eavesdrop when women gossip“, quipped Saras. “Tamey kem cho Baba, weren’t you supposed to be here a while ago? Anyways you seem to be the right person to solve our dilemma“, Lux spotted the opportunity to bring me onto her side and wasted no time with it. “My apologies my lovely ladies but I was just trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Pray do tell me how this humble servant of yours can be of any assistance“, I tried playing my most innocent card. “You see myself and Lux akka are miffed that Dee akka gets all the spoils for the nine day festival. We think we need to give our images a makeover“, rattled the Goddess of wisdom. “Ah a makeover, so you want to appeal the the youth of the nation I see. Giving them something that they can more relate to will make more sense and I concur“, that seemed quite logical to me to keep up with the changing times.Oooi ma! Tumi kotha theke asecho, Baba” She shrieked as she finally found me hiding behind the
“I like the idea, let me start by trading my lotus for a more posh La-Z-Boy recliner, that will make me groovy wouldn’t it?“, Lux was bloating with enthusiasm on her smart choice of furniture. “Tomake ki bola geche, your place is as your patidev’s feet only. You either seat yourself on a lotus or pressing your hubby’s feet on a coiled up giant serpent. OK let me go ahead and say it, you are the most celebrated masseuse in Indian mythology. Kids these days like women who are independent and hold their own more like me you see!“, Dee was on a roll as she pwned Lux. We all know how angry Dee can get for even the strongest of gods considering bowing to her as the smartest thing to do. She definitely wins points on the independent and cool index, leaving poor Lux to sulk. It’s true, these days with all the new confident woman of today, you have people who would earlier yell at your from the kitchen, do the same in a war-room over death by powerpoint! Not to sound to MSPish, but then its the new avtaar and the best way to maintain peace is for us to suck up to them! I’m pretty sure that someone was in his senses when he said, If you can’t fight them you better join them!
“Apdina I should replace my Veena with a Gibson EDS-1275 and play ‘Stairway to heaven‘, that will win me plenty of groupies!“, Saras was getting all creative as she was harboring thoughts of creating a metal band called Bramha’s Vengeance!. I wondered how Saras and her metal band would look with their spiked hair and weird gothic tattoos. For a minute the visual of her standing on a ledge singing ‘Bring me to life‘ briefly floated in my head as well, only to pinch myself and come back to reality. Dee who was quite amused by the conversation, pitched in with her own suggestions for a makeover. “Maybe I should let go of my faithful Lion and get myself one of those speedy ‘Harley Davidson – Dyna superglides‘. Imagine how cool that would be to worship a biker-chick zipping through the streets and fighting demons and amar hathe kato gulo laser guns aache“. Well you know how women tend to get carried away with their non stop prattle and it was wise to let them go on with their gossip and make a move. Well that was surely fun and I shall be back for more next time, till then…………..
PS: Some liberties have been taken with the languages, so kindly adjust. Galti se kabhi kabhi bymistake ho jata hain!
PPS: We aren’t accepting any applications to try out for Bramha’s Vengeance, either contact Himesh Reshammiya or Anu Malik!
(Image courtesy: caminhodomeio)