Six Face – God of war

Bhaktas, This is your friend, philosopher and guide Baba Bangali. It’s been a while since I have graced this space and I have my reasons for it. The past few weeks I have been on a peace keeping mission in the wake of terror attacks.I have been traveling all over, meeting people and seeking answers to a host of questions right from Rahul Dravid’s dismal form to why Rabji made that jodiji. Of course my prime focus has been on the reign of terror that has been plaguing the nation, like any of you doubted me. My travels landed me atop a hill town famous for a temple that it houses. It is believed to be the abode of one of the most interesting characters among the Hindu gods and I managed to get an exclusive tete-a-tete with him for this space. Ladeej and Juntalmen for your reading pleasure I present to you my friend Six-face, the supreme general of the demi-gods. Read on as we get chatty about terror, Dravid, Omanakuttan and Rabji’s jodi issues.

BB: Hey Six-Face, nice to see you after a long time.

SF: If your memory serves you right, it has been 20 years since you last visited me. I was actually skeptical about doing this interview but agreed only due to the close ties you share with my family.

BB: Oh stop talking to me like I am your girlfriend. A great man once said. ‘It’s not he age but the mileage‘! Also this year I’ve already met your mom Dee and your bro G-Money.

SF: Let’s not talk about G okay! But you’re the one teasing my mom, let me get my Vel and set you right!

BB: Even you watch crappy movies? OK bad one but I see the sibling rivalry is still strong.

SF: You think it’s vogue to leave home and live on a hill? It’s not the in-thing okay, I’m still hurt and not returning home.

BB: Pardon me, i thought you liked it here in the south for it’s at an altitude and much warmer than the white house!

SF: Look if the quest was for the ‘Fruit of Wisdom’ and if G-boy was so intelligent to circumnavigate my parents then who do you think needs the fruit even more? It’s like giving
your
SRK a
tax concession
like giving your SRK a tax concession!

BB: Whoa this does make sense, but while G-Money was given the Education ministry weren’t you happy with defence portfolio?

SF: Ah, now you want to give me the brawn over brains talk? He gets prime position for every occasion and not many people know we are siblings till they read this interview.

BB: Ah c’mon people in the south adore you, half of them are named after you, they’ve built numerous temples dedicated to you.

SF: It’s more like the distribution of water between the states that I have TN, Venky has AP, while G-pan and A-pan share Kerala. Also these people think of me and recite the kavacham only when they are shit scared or in adverse problems.

BB: Talking of problems, what do you make of the current terror situation that seems to have gripped one and all.

SF: Terror is in one’s head and we don’t interfere in man-made demons. It’s a state of mind wherein one wants to assert the superiority of his religionone wants to assert the superiority of his religion over the other and stake claim to pieces of land which will never satiate this lust for power. Think about it this way, a world devoid any problems would be so boring and there would be no reason for people to yearn for a passage to heaven.

BB: So you make our world miserable as an incentive to be good so that at least in our afterlife we get better accommodation and facilities! Damn this way you’re just like the farmer who diluted his neighbors pesticides so that his crop was better!

SF: Stop the rubbish will you. Also with giant strides in technology, medicine and B-Grade cinema the death rate has sharply fallen. You guys are even turned on by pachyderms, and fornicate like bunnies.

BB: You might wanna take that back especially since the fans of this one(NSFW) in particular have built more temples for her than you have managed over the years!

SF: Ever heard of something called growth rateheard of something called growth rate? Just because some nutcase coined the phrase ‘Dil maange more‘, doesn’t mean you follow it literally. Our friend Y.D.Raja might actually be grateful in a way to these maniacs who blow up each other.

BB: On another note, what do you make of the crumbling wall of Indian cricket and his dismal form. Why don’t you do something for his pink patch(no better color to choose as the opposite of purple patch).

SF: His prayers were finally answered as he wriggled out a century, didn’t he? You see god-ji has been very busy these days making jodis so a lot of prayers go unheard.

BB: Please convey my regards to the creator-ji for making women so stupid and blind that they fail to identify the same man without his mustache when he sports gelled hair. Rab-ji forbid they were smart, else imagine our plight as men, we’d have to fall for ourselves!

SF: Well they don’t make them that bad as well you know. These days it’s a mix of beauty and brains that’s grabbing peoples eyes.

BB: Oh please, don’t tell me you are justifying women prancing around in skimpy outfits and talking about world peace and poverty! Also I feel you had a hand in the crowning of our desi-girl only because she shared her first name with your mother! My minimal knowledge of the mallu-land tells me that someone had named their child assuming it was a girl but turned out to be a guy at birth. The name omanakuttan makes no sense otherwise.

SF: Err, whatever. I have to rush now, time for abhishekam and alangaram.

(Image courtesy oochappan)