Continued from here.
The story so far
JMS Pand finds a strange looking ring with an inscription in his grandfathers ancestral heirloom. The ring is believed to be the nose ring of the demon mahishasura and must be destroyed by throwing it into the makaravillaku in Sabarimala. Ganesh Damodaran, a friend of Pand’s grandfather consults with a seer Saruggan who turns rogue and wants the nose ring for himself. His plan to capture Gandoo turns unsuccessful and he summons his zombie vixen to hunt the boys down and retrieve the ring. Pand embarks on a journey along with his gardener Samrat Reddy and is ambushed by one of Saruggan’s vixen who wounds him before they escape with the help of a truck driver Arumugam. Ellurandhu an ayurvedic practioner cures Pand and also helps Gandoo put together a team which will protect the ring till it can be destroyed at its destination.
Gollapudi Mahesh was a cashier with the State Bank of Hyderabad, Vizag Branch. Bored with his mundane life he was always eavesdropping on his neighbour Bilahari Basavaiyya’s excavations and longed for a life like that. When he heard about the nose ring, he couldn’t resist the urge to follow them and was taken over by greed to own the ring and keep it for himself. Gollapudi secretly kept following Pand Sam through their journey on his trusted Bajaj M80 and watched fom a distance as they were attacked by the vixen. He was dismayed to know that Pand were now joined by other to forma gumbal making it even difficult to get teh ring for himself. He however decided to keep following them like a shadow and waiting for the right moment to ambush them and claim the ring that was calling out to him. The gumbal meanwhile continued their journey towards Sabarimala and decided to halt at Thiruthani.
“Dora, why for you want to walk through jungle like this Dora? Temple is on hill means we have to camp here only a?“.
“shhhhh silence you nincompoop, you might attract bears or even those vixen that Gandoo Thatha spoke about. ”
“Gilma no fear, Gilma kill bears. Lawyer sir is fear. Gandoo thatha, no worries, gilma is here”
“Enough you all, there’s a hermitage up ahead where we shall rest and leave in the morning after we pray at the temple. Pand, take Sam with you and go check out the hermitage”
“Thatha, this place is in shambles and the smell of cuticura talcum powder is in the air, Looks like Saruggan’s vixen got here before us.”
“Bravo Pand, your police training has heightened your sense of smell. We must quickly make our way to the temple now. Danger could be lurking around and attack at any time. We must proceed towards the temple at once, we’ll be safe there.”
“Pand anna, the ground is shaking, must be an earthquake of sorts, we better hurry. I see a rope bridge ahead, let’s take it. It may be fragile but it is the shortest way to the temple, else we’d have to go around it.”
“Dora, earth is not quaking dora. Nemidha is coming. I am full fan Dora. Jaganmohini I am to be seeing many times.”
“Fool, we better hurry across the bridge. She is one of those zombie vixens. None of us can fight her, Gandoo Thatha save us!”
“My astute investigative abilities tell me that something is not right. Oh my Venkateshwara she’s spitting fire and look at her talons. Time to escaaap.”
“Get behind me all of you. Monstrous women, you better take up that 20% discount offer at VLCC. otherwise you shall not pass the weight requirements to cross this bridge. Trust me, for I am also a fan!”
“noooooo she’s walking across the bridge. Thathaaaaaaaaa”
“ha now it’s going to be just me and my vixen in this abyss. I’ll join you later, fly away you fools. I don’t wan’t any of you watching.”
The gumbal was at first distraught at the loss of Gandoo Thatha, but then they tried getting over it for he was after all in a happy place. They set out towards kanchipuram. En-route Pand had an epiphany that the Gumbal may not be able to protect him all through the journey and the realization that he may be alone on some part of the journey sunk in. Meanwhile Bhramaji was seduced by the power of the ring and dreamt of all that he could achieve by possessing it.
“Tell me inspector, what powers do you think the ring possesses. What about the effects it can on the wearer?”
“Gandoo Thatha says that the power of the demon Mahishasura was in this nose ring, and the moment the goddess sliced his nose he became weak & feeble thereby killing him was a mere formality. If that is to be believed then the wearer will be able to gorge on a thousand pootharekulus and still be hungry for more.” Pand’s eyes gleamed in joy as he smacked his lips.
“I could become a fiery fast bowler and make short opening batsmen tremble in their knees! I could rack up 5wkt hauls even on dusty pitches and not need gimmicks like a twisted arm to cover up for my blistering pace! Aaaah I must have it, I must have it, Gimmie the damned nose ring Pand, let me feel the power of pure evil!”
“shaddap gilma smash! how you take ring from Pand babu“. #OneTightSlap from Gilma was enough to knock the wind out of Bhramaji and brought him to his senses. Ashamed of his actions he stayed silent for the remainder of the journey waiting for an opportunity to redeem himself.
A few kilometers outside Kanchipuram, the Gumbal is attacked by Rocky Savant and her army of zombie item dancers. Armed with spears and fangs, they were not even remotely seductive but Rocky Savant was a different beast. Aptly named after her manly physique and ripping biceps, she was adept at item-dances and her killing move of seduction was bone chillingly named the classic dance of love. It had thrown many strong willed men into a state of trance after which Savant deftly made her move by digging her talons into the jugular. The gumbal shat themselves at the prospect of having to face her but Bhramjai saw it as the best chance to redeem himself. Pand & Sam broke away from the group making a dash for a famous matt in kanchi and the other members of the gumbal threw themselves upon the vixens, leaving Bhramaji to engage Rocky Savant.
It was once of the ugliest battles ever as they agreed to a dance-off and it was the worst in history. Savant brought her best game and that involved hideous gyrations involving various body parts. Bhramaji you would think would have opted for some kathakali, but instead he began shaking vigorously giving the impression he was bit by a tarantula and sweating out the venom. They matched each other step for step and the duel continued into teh wee hours of the morning. Severely turned-off by Bramaji’s repugnant personality, Savant’s moves backfired and in what can only be called as reverse-seduction, Sanvant self-combusted into flames.
“Gilma sad, Bhramaji bleeds, savant burns ”
“Bhramaji Dora, you won dora. That poochandi automatic burning. but blood coming your legs Dora.”
“cough cough, I know my end is near, I can see a shining light call out to me. Promise me Aramugam, promise me that you will ensure the nose ring is safely destroyed.”
“Mother promise dora, everyone shall know that a great mallu
fought danced bravely to save his brothers”
“Also promise me that you shall never someone slap a poor mallu chap………..”
The battle may have been won but a warrior was lost. The Gumbal decided to continue the journey to protect find Sam & Pand and seek help from other allies to prepare for the great war that would eventually decide if good prevailed over evil or otherwise.
(Image Courtesy: wikipedia)
PS: Writing this three part story has been very tiring, I don’t think I’ll attempt the other two books. Guessing by the lukewarm response, it seems the right thing to do as well.