The deafening ruckus of the slogan chanting slowly dies out as I get my fingers to type. The past few days have been pretty busy with all these followers, and the sea of banners with my name emblazoned on them. At first I assumed they were mischief-mongers irked by my scathing review in the previous post. Turns out they are all my supporters showing their support and endorsing my candidature for the indiblog awards. I actually prefer more educated slogans like ‘jab tak suraj chand rahega, maxdavinci ka raaj chalega‘ or my personal favorite ‘jab tak rahega samose mein aaloo, tab tak dil pe raaj karega maxu‘. Of course the above can be true only in la-la-land which for now I refuse to leave. As reality slowly dawns upon my pea brain I see the sea of supporters are not at my porch but crazy consumers braving the chilly winter winds as they line up outside bestbuy and walmart. Thanksgiving in this country not only brings dead turkeys stuffed with gods-knows-what to the dinner table but also heats them up like a furnace from inside. They cool off by camping outside malls all night and then busting the doors open to grab anything they can lay their hands upon. Common sense would tell you to find the nearest restroom and relieve yourself for standing outside for close to five hours. However the stacked shelves tempt you into indulgence as you are overcome by greed to stack up on stuff just because it’s cheap.
We seem to be deviating from the reason for this post by talking about the spirit of thanksgiving. Without an iota of shame whatsoever, I solicit your support as the awards are now open to public voting. Some of us have forged alliances and are collectively garnering votes. PUB is one such alliance where behemoths like Ramesh Srivats and KrishAshok have come together and have been rather generous to include me as well. It almost makes me feel like an octopus swimming alongside two sperm whales! Hold your thoughts before you call us a bunch of narcissists, we may be blatanly asking for votes but then we aren’t bribing you with color TVs, country liquor or biryani packets. Truth is that we are too cheap to do that, even if we could afford to do so. If voted to power, we promise more laughs with weekly posts and regular programming.
There is no vote appeal without a set of promisesunless you are on a reality show where you get people to send you text messages every week. This is no SMS campaign and we only ask fro you to go online and vote for us with a valid e-mail id. We promise more venomous posts and scathing reviews every weekend and more tweets on a regular basis daily. We shall solve the water problem in the south by cutting canals across the Ganges and diverting all that water down south. We shall provide employment to all outsiders in Mumbai by creating another city and thereby separating the rice for the chaff. More North Indians girls will find employment in the film industries of the south, where as the top heroines fro nteh south shall graduate to Mumbai. The communists shall be routed out of Bengal and Himesh shall soon star in a Michael Bay film. The only correction here being that instead of blowing up vehicles and buildings we’d blow up the protagonist instead! Sonu shall get more movie offers in Bollywood so that he doesn’t have to sell his wares in Gulbarga, as long as he is happy behind the mic and doesn’t evince interest in front of the camera! Then the usual promises of free education to the under privileged, healthcare for those who cannot afford, eradicating poverty and promoting world peace. I even came up with a slogan ‘Garibi hatao, desh ko bachao‘, but then sensing that I may be picked up by political scouts, I shall stop here
We’ve been nominated in two categories for ‘Best Entertainment Indiblog‘ and ‘Best Personal Indiblog‘. Voting is open from the 25th of November to the 10th of December, lets hope that the 150+ subscriber count that my RSS feeds tell me is correct and atleast half of you vote for us. You can vote here, and all you need is a valid email-id, so do vote with all the e-mail aliases you have.