Oct
22
2007

The 6-pack saga…….

Saawariya is pitted against Om Shanti Om this Diwali and all eyes are at the box office. Though there seems to be a good fight down south with bigwigs like Vijay(Azhagiya Tamizh Magan Music by ARR), Vikram(Bheema in a feminine role!), Ajith(Billa) Simbu etc all armed with big releases, Bollywood clearly steals the show this festive season. In what is touted to be the biggest battle of the year, for the first time ever Sony Pictures is producing a film from Sanjay Leela Bhansali‘s(SLB) stables, and in another corner is a film that has Shahrukh Khan(SRK) all over it. What follows is my attempt to weigh the heavyweights before the bout goes official and see which way the scales are tipping.

First Saawariya: One look at the poster(I <3 that peacock!) and it screams the words ‘Sanjay Leela Bhansali’. Color is a conspicuous feature in all his films like Hum dil.. which was all orange, then came Devdas which was all red, Black was shot in grey and now Saawariya is in blue. Even the music screams his name and any song in the album(not necessarily the title track) will tell you that it’s has the SLB signature. Melody has been the high point of the music in all his films, and this time is no different. Very few people like SLB, Yash Chopra, Aamir Khan etc sit through all the recording sessions irrespective of who the composer is. This perseverance and hard work reflects in the audio, as every tune is very sooth and easy listening. A collectors item and a must for every long romantic drive. The music just grows on you as you keep listening and if you have no idea of what I’m talking then here is a good place to start with. From what I hear the plot seems pretty weak but then we just want to see the breathtaking sets, cinematography, and SLB’s story telling abilities. The promos reveal nothing but a Hindu-boy-loves-muslim-girl angle, but we know(hope) that SLB is capable of much more than that and wait for the saga to unfold on screen.

OSO is a film that is completely the opposite of everything that Saawariya stands for. Loud jarring music with a retro feel, the story line is a comic spoof of the movies of the 70’s, complete masala movie with laughs, dances, action sequences, stunts, and slapstick comedy. Except for a couple of songs the rest are passable but they audio is a mega hit owing to the hyped marketing behind it. The songs will be shot in super locales with SRK spreading his arms and though I abhor it now, I’m gonna be hooting when he does it on screen. SRK has always said that he is his own PR person. Given the fact that he is pitted against a production house that will not bat an eyelid when it comes to splurging dough, SRK has gone to media and the small screen. Every reality show has had an OSO special like ‘Sa Re Ga Ma Pa‘(Zee), ‘Nach Baliye‘(Star+), ‘Koffee with Karan‘(Star1) etc. Even the most popular news channel CNN-IBN carries a dance challenge where winners get to meet SRK. The Hindustan Times leadership summit was also used as an able platform to talk about his 6-pack. A lot of heroes(read John Abraham, Hrithik etc) must be kicking themselves in teh rear for their perfectly sculpted bodies never attracted such attention as the 40yr old superstar. The story of OSO is out and bears no suspense unlike Saawariya which is a closely guarded secret. The movie has a strong ‘Karz‘ flavor and one of the songs seems like a tribute to the Subhash Ghai flick. OSO definitely looses to Saawariya when the totality of the album is taken into picture, but with a free autographed poster of the most famous 6-pack in the country OSO wins on audio sales. Latest news is that OSO has teamed up with MTV-India for the Lycra style awards and thereby adding some more weight to already heavy scales.

Let’s summarize things

  • Saawariya
    • Big names like Sony pictures and Sanjay Leela Bhansali
    • Melodious and long lasting music by Monty Sharma
    • Debutant star kids Sonam and Ranbir Kapoor(both looking average)
    • Fantastics sets, cinematography
    • Slow and soulful both the music and the movie
    • Weak yet concealed storyline depends heavily on the master story teller SLB
  • Om Shanti Om
    • SRK, SRK and SRK
    • Catchy and peppy tunes with a retro feel by Vishal-Shekar
    • Making her debut and looking absolutely stunning Deepika Padukone and supported by the talented Shreyas Talpade
    • Has all the ingredients of a masala blockbuster, comedy, romance, action and above all SRK!
    • Farah Khan‘s direction will promise awesome locales, and breath taking song-and-dance sequences
    • Terrific small screen promotion with all prime time slots booked
    • Free poster with audio CD has sales hitting a new high

Well Sony Pictures may have all the money and SLB may have his classy touch, the movie will definitely be technically supreme and a sure nominee at every award ceremony. But they don’t have something that OSO has and probably the reason why OSO will take a dinosaur share of the BO opening and the producers of OSO will be the ones smiling in the end. Ladies and Gentlemen that something is…….
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The six-pack-khan Shahrukh Khan

* author does a sashtanga namaskaram *

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6 Comments + Add Comment

  • Awesome Comparisons… but its diwali time and all I care is tp in theatres :-D . So both movies are fine by me.

  • SRK’s sixpack is a fake.

    If he has worked out as much as it has been suggested, his upper body will be more developed.

  • Om Shanti Om was not boring. Spoofs, innuendoes abt other films and a funny Tamil Cowboy act make it watchable. Apart from that..no content…Farah Khan is a lousy director! Masala movie, good for TP.

  • @leena: the tamil cowboy thingy is racist! I knew you would look for directional technicalities in a masala film…..

  • hehe… I did find the “enna rascalaa, mind it” in red leather pants, funny! All in good sense though… In the end, what the fish! =p

  • @ottayn: i don’t think it’s a fake as it wont be so heavily popularized otherwise

    @leena: yea yea u r all racist against us poor tams

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