The curse of the Pink Pant(y)her

The Shri Ram Sene headed by Pramod Mutalik is out to seek romancing couples on valentines day and get the to either tie a rakhi or a mangalsutra! They have been backed by some groups and more interestingly couples facing opposition from their parents. All they have to do is show up on the streets on Bangalore hand-in-hand on the aforementioned day and their new best friends will get them married with immediate registration. It also gives married couples a chance to renew their vows once again just for kicks. So if the tectonic plates of your marriage  seem to be rubbing against each other, getting married again may seem a fruitful option. What seems the easiest way to grab national headlines today? Well beat up a few women while the media cameras click in frenzy, a few flaming speeches, prime time discussions in news channels and a threat to intensify things. I’ve been hearing a lot from the blogosphere about campaigns to fill the pubs, drain pitchers and raise a toast to the hardliners. This is where I see a disconnect, people just want a reason to chug a few mugs and the Ram Sene just want to hog the headlines. Now everybody wants to get in and have their say and hope to make a difference. We decided to wash our hands as well in this ganda-valentine-ka-nala

We must assume a few things though, according to Indian culture we aren’t allowed to be tolerant to other religions, we must abhor people belonging to another caste, one mustn’t even dream to be kind and happy and most importantly you just
be reasonable
you just can’t be reasonable, intelligent and use common sense. Hence we have to find problems with women on the streets, women in pubs, the attire of youngsters and just about everything. We shall however encourage eve-teasing, domestic violence drunk physical abuse, dowry deaths, gambling and other vices for they are part of our vedas. Less that 1% of our population can be found holding hands in pubs and malls, yet we shall target them as the biggest problem grappling our nation. Though people are dying of unemployment, hunger, malnutrition and debts the GenX is a much bigger problem. What if drunk men beat their wives and extort dowry, we’ve got bigger problems like these mall rats who hamper the cultural growth.

I guess Muthalik never expected the response and the publicity. He’s now using the media like a dildousing the media like a dildo, and they are lapping it up for they get some action! Think about it, if you were a dildo, would you complain? OH shit, I guess the Ram Sene will launch an attack against us for the previous line, but then what the hell! From a rank outsider, today he is on everyone’s lips right from Garuda Mall to Greater Kailash. There was a time when not even a regional news reporter would do an interview despite a hefty bribe, and today he occupies the coveted 9PM slot on all national news channels. Even if he has to be jailed for the actions of his outfit, he’d take it as the purpose has been served. He has managed to reach out to people who could never even point Mangalore on the map, what more could he ask? The media has been his weapon and he has used it like a bazooka to announce his arrival and stamp his omnipresence on blogs, newspapers and discussion. Ever heard the story of how a snake-charmer dies to a snakebite, similarly those who live by the media will die by it. But then who is to be blamed? Muthalik, the media, the scandal-crazy junta or our so-called culture?

Then comes the campaigns and I hear that stores are running out of stockstores are running out of stock for pink underwear. What fails to get into my thick skull is the choice of underwear as a token and its colour. Why only underwear and not anything useful or atleast symbolic like flowers? also why does it have to be only pink? Do the expect the Ram Sene workers to use the innerwear as headgear? What can someone possibly do with a pile of underwear, atleast hankys would be useful! Also there is this nationwide call to go fill the pubs as a protest and chug a few shots of your favorite spirits. If there was free booze by participating pubs then I’m game, else it’s just another excuse to get high! I’m still trying to think, who in the world gifts chaddies! It’s not like you are gifting someone a box of kaju barfi or anything. Imagine going to a store and asking for pink innerwear and the look that you’d get in return! If you want to start a campaign lets do it for a good cause and more importantly lets use something better than chaddies! Idiocy knows no bounds and to counter the chaddi campaign we have a pink condom campaign as well! If buying pink chaddies was silly enough, imagine going and asking for pink condoms! What’s next guys, a pink hair clip campaign or a pink lipstick campaign? I’m sure we can get the cosmetic giants to sponsor it as well, and donate a few free samples!

The one benefiting from all this is Muthalikbenefiting from all this is Muthalik who occupys atleast 2-3 posts(this included) in every feed reader these days. So what do we have to look forward to? Remember how you’d give everyone return gifts on your birthday, well Muthalik will be doing the same with sarees for every chaddi. Very soon Valentines day shall be observed to mark the rise of Pramod Muthalik and if he ever becomes a national figure then then Valentines day shall be added to the national calendar on par with Diwali and Dushera. I’m not sure how St.Valentine feels about it, but Swami Muthalikine will sure be pleased. Refuting rumors of his entry to politics, Muthalik rubbished the campaign by saying “Instead of talking at such base levels on the issue of
Indian culture that I have raised, it will be better to debate it at the
ideological level. I am prepared for that. Let there be a discussion on it
across the table
[link]”. So till another controversy rock sthe media and grabs our attention, the Ram Sene can happily soak up the limelight.

(Image Courtesy: mangalorean.com)

PS: The title of this post is inspired by a very famous movie franchise with a recent desi connection. All puns are totally intended and so is the raunchyness of some portions!

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14 Comments + Add Comment

  • Main kya karoon ram mujhe chaddi mil gaya, gulab chaddi mil gaya! – Muthalik’s anthem for Valentine’s Day.

    me: I’m already thinking of a mass export business to the underwear industry in economically weaker countries.

  • Another innovate masterpiece from the Rama Sene folks. :

    I guess now they have come to terms with loose women and such. Condoms are much more cheaper and fulfill a much higher fucntion than cheddi. Especially for the promiscious it is a boon. But I am not sure whether condoms are secular enough. As the mullahs and the catholic preists (no less than the Pope) have condemned condoms and asked the followes to breed incessently. The condom campaign will continue beyond Valentines day. Lucky you.

    me: there’s no upper limit for stupidity..

  • funny.sarcastic
    but i have to disagree with u on 1 point
    Hinduism isn’t all what these extreme right people make it out to be.

    me: Oh yes, but when did I speak of religion. Fascism/intolerance has no religion.

  • Well, I was wondering what issue is going to hog the limelight after the Barkha Dutt one lost its fizz. So here it is, Pramod Muthalik. He says he doesn’t have plans to contest in the Lok Sabha elections. Lets see what happens. Maybe that party Lok Paritran should have done something like this instead of just wearing Fab India clothes and saying we are from IIT. Nothing works like show business. Or rather show off business. Whatever you’ve got, good or bad.

    me: you only live till the next headline bumps you off

  • Oh and I wanted to add this gem by Vaali(I think or could be Kamal) from this underrated song(and movie):
    “beach oram kaathu vaangaraa
    peN aaN sun bath vaangaraa
    ellaamae thiRandha maeni dhaan
    saridhaan nee piRandha maeni dhaan
    nammooril dhaan idhai maraichu vappoamo
    yedha moodi vappoamo adha thirandhu poRaaLae
    aanaalum dhaan eve teasing kidaiyaadhu
    silmishamum kidaiyadhu senchaa elumbu vaeraadhu
    aaN peN bedham ingu neengi poayachu
    namma oorilae oruthi oruvanai
    kanavan aakida tharanum dhatchanai”


    me: now go ahead and translate..

  • I support the Pink Chaddi campaign not because it makes sense or anything like that at an ideological level. If your ideology talks of beating up people, men or women, then it should not be one.

    My argument for this campaign is this: I think the point is not just *not* rational discourse. It is more of an activity that will disgust them but is a part of every woman.

    In India, we hide our undergarments. Almost. We hang them elsewhere in the back. We take them off the clothesline before the man of the house or anyone else can see them. In some places, we are not even allowed to dry them in public. So, this is to tell all the Sene people that however disgusted you are with the most basic of us, we are like this only. Similarly, drinking is not good or bad, its just a way of life for some people. It does not make us good or bad Indians.

    Sorry for hogging the space!

    P.S. – And this is what we can do right? the people, young girls – much like Obama’s movement? Give $1 if that is all you can do. Rational discourse is for intellectuals, feminists and possibly even the Govt to do, right? Isn’t that why we elect them? We can only do this :) If we could, then we could have run the govt! This is what women of India identify with, immediatly, and what I as a woman can do in anger/disgust becaue I do not want to go and beat up people. That is not my ideology. My religion, my God, my culture doesn’t teach me that. Remember, I’m meek?

    me: I was awaiting your views on this. well put!

  • I intend to start one hanuman sena. Which goes around the city setting off bijli vedis in random political hubs around the city. Interested in joining? Free white chaddi for first 10 members.

    me: some things are not meant to be publicized but carried out secretively!

  • I will tell you exactly why they deserve Pink Chaddis. It is because scissors cut papers and rock can crush both scissors and papers. I am going to repeat my comment that I wrote on other blogs too – We should send them used pink underwears (or non-pink ones for the male counterparts). I wonder what the males will get back – a saffron kurta? or a white kurta? I could really use a free white kurta! And what good is a saree without a matching blouse? (Sidin said this in twitter). Pink condom is a great idea, I mean we can prevent the birth of more Ram sene like people, that is definitely a positive idea.

    me: I like white kurta’s as well. I believe the Ram Sene have an agreement with blouse-matching-centres all over, so that customers will be forced to go pick blouses to match the sarees they get.

  • “We must assume a few things though, according to Indian culture we aren’t allowed to be tolerant to other religions”

    Aren’t we a secular nation? We do celebrate Eid and Christmas and all of that. Perhaps I misunderstood your point?

    Regarding the over-hyped V-day though, I do think that it isn’t a part of our culture and is hopelessly borrowed from the westerners amongst many other things. But I also wouldn’t go to the extreme of punishing people for celebrating it. To each his own belief I guess.

    Nice thought provoking post :)

    And lol @ stith’s comment :)

    me: Oh no, I meant it in sarcasm. Though we are secular, a bunch of idiots feel they have the power to take away that right.

  • I support the pink chaddi campaign too! Like Nandhini pointed out, we don’t want to be rational. Because obviously they’re not!
    And why are the true Indian men wearing trousers?! They should be wearing dhothis!! Maybe we should send them pink langots instead of chaddis!!!

    me: ah, thats a nice proposition

  • Do you know that less than 2k pink chaddis have been collected so far? Underwhelming, considering that just in my friends’ circle, I can count several dozen Loose & Forward Pub-going women. :)

    me: did you send any?

  • […] The curse of the Pink Pant(y)her […]

  • […] MTV culture. To his point, there was no such thing in the early days when women did not send their pink chaddies via courier! The DMK supremo spent no time in attacking the theory of Lord Rama, and chose to call […]

  • […] first began their agitation for a separate state of telangana, this is ofcourse different form the women who like to go to pubs and send pink chaddis to whoever has a problemsend pink chaddis to whoever has a problem with […]

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