Feb
14
2010

Tujhko Mirchi Lagi Toh

Valentines Day always comes with it’s share of controversies every year. Be it fanatic Hindu groups trying to forcibly marry couples they manage to find, or hooligans ransacking gift shops. Such actions only irk couples to show their solidarity and oppose rowdy elements. On the other side of the spectrum it is they day Hallmark, Cadburys and other companies announce employee bonuses and targets for the next rose day, sister-in-law day and I-miss-my-doggy day. With brigands like Pramod Muthalik adding fuel to the fire, it is only befitting that the media makes it a spectacle event with panel discussions, running stories of couples who’ve eloped or fought the society, and positioning reporters at strategic points frequented by couples for ‘aankhon dekha haal‘. You guessed it right, it’s one of those moments where a mic is thrust between two couples for a ‘aap is waqt kaisa mehsoos kar rahe hain‘ moment and their 15seconds of fame.  After that they are either hunted down by the keepers of culture or banished from their homes for nose-cutting in front of society, hence the 15 seconds of fame.

I generally keep away from the melee of these excuse-for-greeting-card days unless it is religious where in payasam makes
up
for everything
payasam makes up for everything. Today however my reader and the twitterverse have been exceedingly chirpy with sappy odes and cheesy ballads being written. With everyone writing around a central theme, I was more than happy to select all and hit the mark-as-read button. Today I came across a secret society hidden behind broad shoulders, chiseled jaw lines, and well built torsos. The secret meetings of the #GRCA take place in an undisclosed location, but I figured out that becoming a pledge isn’t all that difficult. I don’t have a problem with guys who like romantic comedies, nor do I judge them. I’ve enjoyed a few myself and ain’t ashamed to admit it. I am however appalled by allegiance pledged to sappy english movies and hardly any desi ones. The omission of desi cinema from this list, was a further shocker. From what I hear, telling someone you liked Pardes isn’t gonna raise any eyebrows, but add Notting Hill to that list and your membership to the macho club is revoked! This post is for those men who wished to be left alone and not judged for their choices in sappy cinema and love for tearjerkers. For every Gauri who wants a guy with a neem tree in his yard, for every Ganga who’s world is where her piya is, for every Simran who sings to the person in her dreams, for every Zaara who awaits her Veer, for every Raj Aryan who returns to complete Megha , for every Madhav Shastri who got 5 days to win over a Reena Malhotra, there are others!

What about the men who’s postal address is the heart of the women they chase? It’s not our fault if our garments turn out to be sexy and everyone wants a piece of us. What’s wrong with cavorting in fields of wheat, or men who like to verbally abuse women so that their cheeks turn white! Not many men have the audacity to tell a girl to go to hell when asked to make lovewhen asked to make love,  but we do find it easy to tell them to move their beds closer at night. If our touch sends shock waves and something something happens, who do you blame? Trading two states in exchange for a kiss may not quite be worthwhile, but you ought to atleast respect the emotion! Imagine the plight of women whose cheeks are life threatening, or those who leave the door open in their sleep! Isn’t our purpose on this earth to love and die, because women posses magic in their waists and stern looks! What  does one do when the buttons of a kurta go missing, well the answer is to place an ad in the papers for there is no better way to get the message across. Someone once told me how to go about if the girl was all gori gori with a rich daddy, I believe the answer is to shed all inhibitions and seek alms to pester her. When a girl asks you to taste her for she is all cream and butter, you have nothing more to say but plead her to repeat it once again. When there are fabulous women who shoot bullets with their eyes, guys have no chance to give in and love just happens! When pieces of your upper garment are not where they were supposed to be, it is best to ask your father for further clarification. When a woman gives you fever, tastes like wine or is simply fabulous, all you can do is wish to sleep in her arms.

With situations like these how dare we look elsewhere for inspiration? I move the motion to amend the laws of the #GRCA and make bollywood masala a mandatory ingredient! If you still have any doubts, then just sing in the rain and that shall pwn everything else. This is however syllabus for a different post, so abhi ke liye lite le lo.

PS: The songs are a compilation from a contest between gradwolf, buddy, sthitapragnya and myself, and hence credit is duly given.

PPS: Sorry for the heavy linkage, kya kare control nahin hota!

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About the Author:

internet connectivity addict, adventure enthusiast, twitter maniac and jack of all trades

25 Comments + Add Comment

  • Hillarious to the core!


    me: you are too generous

  • Loved the post. I agree that Indian cinema should be part of GRCA :) And I’d love to know the author’s comments.

    • ejjatly, what has Indian Cinema done to be ostracized form the GRCA!

  • @Nandu:

    Author’s comments are in the post itself. That was my reasoning. If you liked Pardes/DDLJ, nobody raises an eyebrow and you’re still allowed to be macho. But liking Notting Hill/Serendipity/(500) Days of Summer can attract adverse reactions. That’s why The Banyan Trees post :P

    • you sold out to teh devil, and hence shall be barred from this discussion.
      our desi movies are too lowly for you to mention…

  • NICCCCCE! But wait, are you confusing lou & lust? ;)

  • Okie. this NICEEEE!

    But I havent seen the links completely, but from what I have seen and read, I am wondering if you are confusing lou & lust. The first is a GRCA related attribute. The second is an universal attribute.

    • nah, it’s just an observation of how desi movies are not considered sappy enough!

  • nice post !

    i like this line the most

    ” When a woman gives you fever, tastes like wine or is simply fabulous, all you can do is wish to sleep in her arms. “

    • oh that was just int eh flow of things, unintentional but glad you liked it.

  • I kinda see gradwolf’s point. Liking mushy crap in bollywood is not looked as an earring on the right ear, but that could also be because in the 90s and early 2000s, we have seen a lot of mushy movies coming from big-budget banners. In such a situation, the well-conceived but poorly funded non-mushies don’t stand a chance. Bollywood has grown up a little now, and we now have Anurag Kashyap, Vishal Bharadwaj and Abhishek Chaube and their ilk, who can make smart movies without mush. In Hollywood however, we could always watch Kubrick, Nolan, Woody Allen, Soderbergh, Lynch, Lumet, Tarantino…etc. If you have all these to choose from, and still pick Notting Hill….!
    Also I resent Annie Hall being included in that list of mushy movies. That is one of Woody Allen’s sublime works, and it is not mushy.

    The post was hilarious max, and kudos to all of you who put in the work on assembling this list of songs.

    • i take offense, we worked as hard to procure those songs.

  • Kinda lost track of the videos amidst the heavy linkage. Highly arbit post, but nevertheless a good read.

    I personally prefer the bollywood masala movies as compared to the new breed (read Dev-D). Masala over intellectual stimulation (or whatever they are trying to do) anyday.

    • I prefer a healthy mix of both. But when they try to peddle commercial cinema as crossover, I have a problem with it

  • hilarious!
    and one only wishes you had got some more ‘romantic songs’ in edgeways!

    • pure romantic songs somehow dont appeal to me, its the morose ones or the catchy ones that i like more

  • ROFLably hilarious! The songs were all jewels in the crown! Perfect Valentine’s tribute to the efforts at procuring those gems!

    PS: Thanks for the credits! :D

    • I knew I had to compile these somehow, what better an occasion to do so!

      We ought to have more such contests

  • I’ll let the card carrying members of GRCA clarify, but I think that Notting Hill and Love Actually (and perhaps the ones about Ms. Jones’ diary) fall in a different league altogether from most of the named Indian romcoms. I’d put Jaane Tu/ DCH/ Alaipayuthey (perhaps) in their league, but not Pardes/ Minnale/ DDLJ in that same league.

    • Jaane Tu, DCH were intelligent movies and offbeat as well. The others are cheesy run-of-the-mill sappy movies that ppl watch and cry buckets on saturday nights

  • voho. you also wonly from US aaa? Detroit wonly, no? Big blag. Many many hours of readingu. wokay. pa. I saw you first time in Kowthas and now in Bikerdude’s blogs. Will follow your blog from now on :-)

    Go Nittany Lions

    • es es detraait wonly, thengyu faar the kaamplimentsu. Hope you have fun here…

  • I think the whole situation can be compared to men handholding. ever noticed how indian men (esp in chennai/kerala) apdiye hold hands and walk? does that mean they’re er, sexually different?
    its a part of accepted culture. Similarly, romance is a norm in Indian cinema, not a genre. I agree w gradwolf on this one :)

    ps – soooo many links! great post though :)

    • watay insightful coment, I’m sure it must break your heart to see men hold hands. But I like your confidence, and hope things are like you wish them to be.

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