Ever been in love?

Love is word that has been highly abused like its other 4-letter cousin It is used whenever something inexplicable happens, and people do crazy things under the excuse that love made them do it. Then there are tons of definitions that are used to churn out hundreds of movies by the Indian Cinema Industry. People like Yash Chopra in Bollywood and Raghavendra Rao down south have made epic movies on love, and they are followed like manuscripts by thousands of Indian youths. These merchants of love have made millions on run-of-the-mill stories where poor boy meets rich girl or vice versa and there has to be a villain who is generally

  • The Father/Mother/Uncle on either the girl or boy’s side (depending on who is richer of the two)
  • A jealous lover of the girl (since 2000 even guys are allowed to have jealous lovers!) or a drug lord/gangster who wants revenge from the hero or has killed the hero’s parents/sister

There is rarely a different permutation to this equation, but this is generally your love story. Coming back to the reason for this post, is what I described above called as love? Is this what love really is? If yes then how does it become divine? If someone has all of a sudden found a lot of willpower or confidence or dedication or motivation or inner strength or whatever you may, it is usually assumed to be the by-product of love. Anybody care to elucidate? Let us go by the assumption that the above is true and love does make people care and gives them strength, but then what is love? You’ve told me what it does and what it can make people do, but what is it to begin with?

There are a few who will read this post and immediately rattle an offline message or leave me a scrap saying that love can’t be defined and has to be felt! Oh yea, I know that was coming. Going by that assumption, if it is a mortal feeling that can’t be defined and only expressed then what is so sacred bout it and why is it divine? Anger, Greed, Pride are also feelings but then they aren’t weighed in the same balance! Why is there a bias then? Shouldn’t all feelings be treated with the same amount of respect or is it convenience?

If you are just shaking your head thinking that it’s high time someone fell in love then I have a question for you. So far we stuck with the argument that love is a feeling but now the term ‘falling in love‘ brings up a whole new discussion. I know it doesn’t mean falling on someone literally not to deny that it has been used in many Indian movies. There are scores of movies where an actor has to go through the harsh experience of a heavier co-star falling in love ON them! One would have to agree though that love is a much more favorable feeling as we shamelessly ignore other feelings in our bias towards love.

I realize that I fail to make sense, but then I have another question. Any one like to tell me what is true-love? After having watched close to a thousand movies and having seen almost all my friends act weird under the pretext of love, I dare not talk about it any more. What bothers me is that if there exists some thing called true-love then what about it’s antithesis? Is there a false-love as well? There is a long list of such contrived terms associated with it and ‘commitment’, ‘soul mate’, ‘relationship’, ‘break up’ etc are just a few. What surprises me the most is that you can be in true-love today with someone, and next year the feeling still stays just that it’s a different someone. So it’s true today with someone and true with some other person next year, which means that it was false with the person today!

I know I’m getting nowhere with this as I attempt to summarize. Hormonal fluctuations and infatuations are often mistaken for love as young and vulnerable people then go ahead and mimic the screenplay of their favorite movie(doesn’t matter which one as the concept remains the same) which goes on for a few weeks and months in most cases as gift shops, coffee shops, malls and cinema halls make a killing. Then they get bored of each other and now we get to the interesting world of break-ups. This is followed by a heavy intake of booze for men and fatty food for women depending on who claims to be hurt the most and thus returning to the vulnerable state. Once again hormonal fluctuations and infatuations…….

The cycle endlessly continues till people learn the hard way and grow up……

ps: With inputs from Hari Bajjuri

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