Sat Sri Akal, Vanakkam, Namaste and local translation to all in their tongues. This is Munna Mobile reporting from the disaster struck South African dressing room that was wrecked by a scindialating(It’s Gwalior and this post is partly sponsored by the Scindias, hence!) inning by the little master last night. ODI no 2962, will be etched in the memories of fans for quite a long now and may also land up as tattoo for fanatics. The other fanatical things that come to mind are phone numbers and license plate numbers, which I have personally seen after the desert storm game. Worst come worst, it will atleast be a tie-breaker question at quiz clubs around the country on lazy Sunday afternoon. It was a great inning and we were among the privileged few to witness every shot and prayed he reach the milestone, for it was heartening in the Hyderabad game where he was precariously close, yet so far. Many might agree that the day clearly belong to the master who according to many is god, and has been single-handedly reducing the number of atheists for the last twenty years in this country. Our sources however indicate otherwise, and this post is about those people who are hell bent to cash in on the fervor for a piece of the spotlight.
The 24th of Feb 2010, also marked the day when Rail Minister Mamta Bannerjee presented her budget. Though met with a lot of criticism for favoring the state of West Bengal over others, she remained nonplussed. We asked her to respond to claims of ‘ budget mein sirf bengal, baaki sab kangal‘ and also her views on Sachin’s rare feat. ‘Tumi ki chai? Shochin express Duranto se fast cholbey. Olsho in the morning I bhas praying for the yeendin bheepuls bhicktry veeth my bhajhet‘. She chose not to respond to the first part of our question, but on further goading she gave in. ‘Tomake ki bola geche? Jab shochin chix marta hoy aur dho sho run banata hoy, phir bhajhet ke liye log kyun rotha hoy. Hum cottokk mein, tiruvandhapuram mein aur jhidhar bhi shochin century maara udhar dega baba‘. Despite being ridiculed for her pronunciation she rattled away, ‘I hebb to tolk like rajdhani today bheekaas I am ejjited, oui shaal announce speshal train fraam shingoor to Jalpaiguiri and called it the Shochin aaxpress‘. Sachin may have derailed the trainamool(pun intended) budget, but it sure didn’t prevent Ms.Bannerjee from using it to her benefit in lieu of the coming election in her state.
The twittervesre was abuzz with a lot of action and most twitter clients were getting maxed out with the deluge of tweets. A group of popular mallus spared no time inclaiming that Sachin’s roots were in Ernakulam and he learnt to wield the willow in Alappuzha and not Shivaji Park. ‘What man even small small kids are knowing that he is in fact Sachin Thekkepaattu Nair whom these marathas have stolen from us’. Another popular twitter personality Hashtag Doraisamy was quick to get the topic trending as he tweeted ‘Kallis #facepalm #OMFG #sachinmallu or #sachinisgod #youprefer #kvlt #pwnage #desertstorm #youremember #tendulkar200 lets trend this guys‘, before he ran out of his 140 character limit. We tried to get twitterer-turned-politician and now minister for cattle tweets Shashi Tharoors’ views, but only managed to get a reply to our tweet to him on the matter. He tweeted, ‘Attndd budget session, weird sounding trains to weirder sounding stations, Ltr managed to catch the game and a grt knock by Sachin, now dinner‘, as articulate as ever. We are thankful to the thousands of twitter users who updated their tweets with the news of Sachin’s feat and the fact that it was the first time a double century was scored. Without their immense contribution, the world would have never known of such an achievement! We also wish to thank the thousands for their extremely unwitty tweets on the match that made even cricinfo’s commentary seem like P.G.Wodehouse on a bad day. Imagine our plight had we not been inundated by score updates in our timeline, we’d have remained as ignorant as ever.
Superstar @iamsrk rehashed one of his tweets as ‘awesome knock by sachin. will surely remember for years. now to bed and to the land of the dark and peace. goodnite my great frnd.lov and hugs‘, while his close aide @kjohar25 promised to get Sachin on twitter as well as he proudly showed off his NDTV social-media person of the year award. Our favorite trio of Modi-Bhagat-Sena were quick to jump the gun and grab a piece with their inane and unintentionally funny comments. ‘Sachin is in the form of his life which means that the IPL will be a great success. Despite threats from players of pulling out, this knock will inspire them to come and play. I was able to message my self from one blackberry to another which means that the event will go on without any external interference‘, smirked IPL boss Lalit Modi smiling like a cheshire cat. ‘Sachin is now loved by the people of both maharashtra and madhya pradesh, which is truly inspired from my book that is available in stands for Rs.95. I had predicted his double ton long ago and I demand the news channels to give me credit‘, groaned a visibly upset Chetan Bhagat who also wishes to set the record straight on his stupidity. Apparently users RTing his tweet are being banned but the cycle doesn’t seem to stop, with more and more users RTing his tweet. Last but not the least, the Sena chose to quell all claims by retaliating to to its detractors. ‘Sachin mahaashtra cha gaurav aahe, we shall not tolerate any poaching of our players by others. Only we have the right to own and disown him at will. Since he scored these runs at Gwalior, we shall annex it to maharashtra and grant all Gwalior residents free entry into mumbai and they shall be allowed to apply for jobs in BMC‘, roared the Thackeray scion. There were a lot more wannabes trying to grab the headlines, but we end this bulletin here for we cant cater to all the gasbags.
PS: If you really want to believe the above and come after me, then ping me for my address after you retrieve your brains from the toilet.
(Image Courtesy: Cricinfo)