Folks, this is Munna Mobile reporting from across the Atlantic or whichever water body is closest to here in Denmark. Since we don’t have a camera person or a cute news reader to talk to in the studio, we shall regale the motley crowd(for arguments sake lets assume atleast someone reads us) that reads this blog. After the stunning expose in our previous post, we bring you yet another sansani khez khulasa that will change the world! If the word Denmark failed to ring any bells then we shall do a brief flashback to inform you that this is where the world is debating on what is going to happen a 100yrs from now. Creationists may call it the wrath of khan God but our scientists will argue that the earth is heating up. While some may argue that it has been documented in the past that the earth will self-destruct and a few idiots have even milked the sentiment to churn million dollar blockbusters. On the other hand we have people who can’t tell you if it is gonna rain/snow tomorrow, but will give you exhaustive graphs, reports and stats of how it is going to be eons later. The only one thing certain is that even after all those years, Shahid Afridi will still be 18! We weren’t around when the Mayans made the predictions nor are we gonna be around a 100yrs later when things heat up!
Let us all believe the Mayans that 2012 is our Armageddon(not the Bruce Willis version with the Aerosmith song) and let us also believe that if not then, then the world will become a giant ball of fire 100yrs later. If we were made to believe that the Iraq was invaded for WMDs then wen can surely believe anything they sell. We shall therefore hold every breath we take for I assume even those count as emissions. Thereby making you think twice and guilt-ridden every time you take your car for a spin or even fart! Flatulence or breaking wind as they call it is obnoxious and very harmful to the environment, and now imagine thousands of goats farting to glory in the lush green meadows! Oh well we better be scared, lest all those things they show in disaster movies come true. We can blame the irregular rainfall, long summers, hurricanes, freezing winters and everything unusual you notice, on the changing climate and how we are heralding our end! Everything except the winter rain in Chennai, because they have a different set of Dravidian climate rules that govern them. How I wish we had all our fake fakirs and godmen chanting off the coast of NZ/Aus and peeing their pants attempting to melt rapidly approaching iceberg. We attempt to find answers to all the above issues at Copenhagen and also hope to unearth why Big Boss3 and Balika Vadhu are still the most watched TV shows!
We would like to make it clear that Copenhagen isn’t even remotely related to Haagen Dazs and they are way way apart. The former is where people are debating why things heat up, and the latter is where one’s worries are frozen. You might need a passport to savor them, but atleast it isn’t weird like the other place where the portions ‘Like it, love it, Gotta have it‘ remind you of a porno! All this hot talk reminds us of the high priestess of emissions, albeit of a different kind but they still serve the purpose. Those who doubt her scientist credentials must read how she explained a phenomena to a schoolchild, ‘ beta, Niagara falls but Viagra stands!‘. We endorse her candidature for the mascot of the Copenhagen climate change conference. She has been solely responsible for global warming in our part of the world and that is no joke given the number of hot-blooded Indian males we have all over the world! Minister of State for Environment and Forests, Jairam Ramesh was quoted saying, ‘Bhabhi is an extremely accommodating lady and a fine one at her craft. We shall use all means necessary to get the world leaders who are trying to sabotage the summit, on their knees and straddle like penguins. India is changing and so is the climate and who better to elucidate the change than our bhabhi? The US may have Obama who keeps talking of change like a bus conductor doling out tickets in a BEST bus, but we have Bhabhi who can change into your wildest imaginations‘. The above comment was obviously off-the-record for he immediately received word from high command that they may not epitomize any other woman but Madamji!
We have just found out that Lalit Modi has also evinced interest in Bhabhi’s exploits in Copenhagen, and wishes to milk her growing popularity to promote IPL3. ‘The IPL returns to India and having grabbed the summit by its balls(literally), Bhabhi shall be welcomed in India and no longer be banned‘. Having gained the support of the country’s biggest ring master, who was willing tame our online tigress, our endeavors were taking good shape. With billions of dollars a year involved, we shall wear the hat of a developing country yet again which we keep alternating based on the situation. Modi was also quoted saying, ‘Bhabhi may be able to help us execute honey pot techniques and whip the non-believers into submission. Her contribution to global warming is unparalleled, and even Al Gore was monkeying around just for an Oscar and Nobel Prize. Have I already told you that this season with IPL3, we are unveiling a new rule where the batting side can avail a powerplay devoid of any fielding‘. Instead of being the ones to bring on the change, let us vote for climate change with Bhabhi handling the reigns of global warming!
PS: It goes without stating that the above comments are purely fictional, but then some dorks need it in writing!