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North Korea upset over Endhiran

Ladeej and juntalmen, this is ace journalist and soon-to-be media baron Munna Mobile reporting from our secret base in Pyongyang. For those of you wondering if we are in the basement of a abandoned Chinese restaurant in Vadapalani/Lingampally/Kalbadevi, screw you. With loads of alacrity, we’ve managed to clandestinely enter the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea(DPRK). You see we hopped onto the contingent that was returning form the soccer world cup in South Africa in place of a few dudes who were promised better lives in India. All we had to do is arrange for a woolens/shawls/jackets shop in the Ooty Tibetan market and there we had a deal! Maybe we lied a little of how the shawl sellers were descendants of the Koreans and would be very welcoming to their cousins from the east. Anything goes as long as we get a kickass story and capture stellar images that helps us win the Pulitzer Prize for journalism. With me is my able and trusted cameraman James Bilahari who’s twin brother Albert Bhairavi is currently working undercover to unearth a scam in the Commonwealth Games. With us is our guide and local liquor store owner Sing-Mun-Gen(SMG) who is the only man in the city to stock Toddy, Arrack and Zingaro beer. SMG was fathered by a toddy shop owner in Rayalaseema by the name Verrasankara Reddy which explains his Indian connection and taste for country liquor. Since our stay here is funded by toddy soaked currency, we refrained from bringing you this bulletin on Oct 2nd and not hurt the Indian sentiments.
>>Dear leader, Godzilla and Bots

Fruits of labor

Fruits are an integral part of our lives both culinary and metaphorically. Orange juice is a must for many at the breakfast table or sliced apples if you may. The apple is a wonderful fruit and used a lot in literature and history. Not sure if it was for the color, but I remember kindergarten books have always had a smiling worm bore its way out of a red juicy apple. Talking of apples, I’ve always wondered why only a falling apple made Mr.Newton discover gravity? Why not any other fruit, or even an acorn, pine etc. Why not realize the same when leaves turned color and fell in autumn? Did someone plant the seed of the idea in his head like Chistopher Nolan’s motley crew in Inception? If you think about it, all the had to do in addition to going deep into layers of dreams was to travel time as well. If all that is required is a powerful sedative, then I’m sure there were a bunch of extractors back in the day! Maybe he had a vision and God told him about the phenomenon we today call gravity. The reason I bring god into this is again because of the darn fruit, the apple. Of all the fruits in the Garden of Eden, why was only the apple a forbidden fruit? You have plums, cherries, nectarines and a host of fruits for after all it was ‘the Eden‘, but why single out the apple? What about the case where Newton was struck by an acorn or just some birdshit and the concept of gravity came to him. Telling someone you discovered gravity from the act of a falling avian feces isn’t a very marketable idea. Given that the 16-17th century folks weren’t very impressed by his religious beliefs, using an item with a biblical reference makes a lot more sense that pigeon poop! Sadly, not many bought the ‘god gave it to you’ concept despite using an apple and it probably went worse that what birdshit would have done. Using the forbidden fruit in a catholic society to explain science, backfired and marked the phenomenon to be forbidden and Newton a heretic! Now these things never came into the open until now and I hope to reopen purushottams box here. >>Mangoes, Apples & Bananas

The 2010 Dandanakka Awards – Part 2

We’ve got to admit that the IPL is killing every one, it’s not just the excitement in the grounds, but also of it with sleaze and scandals that even rocked the parliament. The killer however is the fantasy league I run, which has been draining me. Keeping track of player form, injuries, predicting performance and batting orders and also betting on a player you decide to trump! Oh it’s work alright, especially when you have others pwning you and making it seem like gulping baby foodgulping baby food while it seems like gravel to you. We did promise a part-2 but that was put on hold by an abomination of a movie called Prince that we thoroughly enjoyed. Now that the IPL is done and we have a breather before the T20 world cup resumes, it is high time we kept our end of the bargain and finished this list. We received comments and tweets on our previous post asking for a tamil version of the awards, though we’d love to do so yet we feel that it may come as an overdose. Next year however we shall definitely pay respects to the worst of the south in true DappanKoothu style.
>> The awards explained

Review: Prince – Brain mapping complete

Yes I know what you’re thinking. With part-2 of our awards ceremony still in the drafts, we’ve churned out another movie review. Well like Ravi Shastri says, “That’s what the doctor ordered” and hence we have to break the sequence. It is movies like this that makes this blog what it is today and our readership(yes the double digits) enjoys this brand of cinema. Pure unadulterated fun is what they promise, while being unintentionally funny and that also explains the awards ceremony we run each year in their honor. Despite having a heavily packed weekend, with sore limbs due to back to back cricket games, IPL tamasha, working out strategies for the fantasy team and improving my ground shots in tennis we had a stop-press moment. When we learnt that our local multiplexwallah managed to get prints for Prince-It’s Showtime we just had to squeeze 3hrs and go watch it. It may have resulted in sleeping a total of 8hrs in two days together but it was worth every wink lost. For those of you wondering why in Ganesha’s name would anyone forgo food and sleep for a movie. Well it’s not just any movie but a Vivek Oberoi movie, enough said!
>> Tattoos, Sauron, T-800 and Uncle Pai

The 2010 Dandanakka Awards – Part 1

Ah late coming but latest coming. Just when you thought that we had forgotten, we come back with what is our highest traffic generating post each year. Having watched close to 70 films last year and being a avid follower of bollywood, we bring you the 4th Annual Dandanakka Awards. Owing to the success of our most popular post last year, we’re back to doing another for this year. Celebrating ineptitude in cinema is how we like to label it, but then it is an arduous task to match these duds alongside each other. The regular awards season is filled with red carpets,
wardrobe malfunctions
red carpets, wardrobe malfunctions, made-up speeches, fashion disasters, and trophys-for-cash. Contrary to popular belief this list isn’t about the B-graders that run in single screens or the sleazy snore-fests that are aimed to titillate the front benches in Jaunpur. This one salutes the big A-listers that come crashing to the weight of their heavy budgets and over hyped promos. Now it’s not often that you see people recognizing the efforts of filmmakers who see their efforts and hours of idiocy turn out to be duds at the box office. While there are other ceremonies that commemorate the best movies of the year, we to the opposite way and look at duds that were smothered on the weekend they released and are now forgotten. There were close to 200 Hindi movies that released in 2009 with only 11-12% passing the litmus test on release day, so that probably gives you an idea of what we’re looking at. We compiled a list of duds early this year as a precursor, and now for the real deal.
>>Debuts, lyrics, music and a new category

Ram your Ganga has become dirty

Bhaktas, this is your friend, guide and resident philosopher Baba bangali in the house. You see it is the birthday of a buddy of mine and that means I get to bring him to this space and roast him. OK we shall go easy on the roasting, for we don’t want to incur the wrath of fascist groups. We did a similar rendezvous last year as well and the feedback was mostly positive. We did however receive a few threatening mails asking us to take it down, but in politics all this normal only. We therefore shall continue the trend and take a look at the latest affairs gripping our country today, viewed from a lens of mythology. Now please note that, just for the sake of conversation and filling up whitespace we’re not going to discuss the health care reforms or the floating garbage patches. Actually we could but my guest requested we keep the topics more closer to home and in areas he could relate to. That means I have to trash my cue cards that had pointers about the pope’s ushers, Rehman Malik, and the earthquake in Chile. Going extempore was no biggie for here was a deity who has been dragged into every possible imbroglio known to man. Last heard there were riots in Gorakhpur when a fight broke out between two groups on whether Rama or Ganesha ought to be invoked before inaugurating a public lavatory. While one group maintained that Ganesha being the Hindu god of obstacles would ensure smooth operation of the lavatory’s sewer systems, the other argued that its proximity to Ayodhya warranted salutations to Shri Rama. Not sure what the man himself feels about it, but we shall slip it under the rug as SR drops by to chat on politics, his personal life, swayamvars and even the IPL.

>>Statues, Swayamvars,and the IPL

Interview: Wilbur Sargunaraj on Dappan Koothu

My dear unclejis, auntyjis, brothers and their sisters this is Munna Mobile reporting from Vancouver Canada. Now you didn’t think our budget permitted us to bring you stories across international borders did you? Well this one isn’t about how Walter Vetrivel officiated as a referee in the finals of the Curling event, or how hashtag kumaraswamy woke up at 5Am everyday to live tweet the winter Olympics on ESPN. This is more like a slap to those who accused us of interviewing only fictional characters and writing satirical pieces. We at Dappan Koothu managed to snag the man behind one of the most viral videos in recent times. Wilbur Sargunaraj truly defines the tone and mood of this blog and if we ever were to interview anyone, then it had to be this man! While we bring you news that you cannot use, tear movies to shards and stump divine beings, Wilbur brings a smile to all our faces by just being himself. With a rapidly growing cult following, Wilbur not only spreads the language of music but also tries to make a difference with some good work. To find out more about his drum-set, passion for cricket and cult status, read on.
>> Drums, CSK rap and Jigarthanda

This seat is reserved

Brothers and their sisters, this is ace journalist Munna Mobile wishing you a happy Women’s day as we round up the events surrounds the much hyped bill in parliament. Firstly I beg to know, how does one wish women today who are sad? Does Hallmark have any special cards or do you have some innovative text messages that can be forwarded. Sample this, ‘Hey, I know your husband gave you a black eye but then here’s wishing you a safe women’s day!‘. What do you tell the thousands who are leered at in bus stops, or trains? Oh I have one for women who are harassed and ill-treated at work, ‘Hey, wish you a happy women’s day and lets hope this year your boss sees your views and is not just interested in the view!‘. Now before you roll your eyes thinking this is another feminista chasing men to castrate them in public with a sickle, let me clear the air and let you know that we are purebred MCPs! Our concerns are only in our interests for else it is gonna come bite us in the back years later. For example we did this piece a few months ago on how there aren’t any single girls around these days. The point that we are trying to iterate is that days like this and others like mothers day, ramu-kaaka day and sisters-in-law day are all just hype and generate content for news channels and worthless blogs like this one. So lets cut the crap over these fodder-for-media days and just learn to respect people every single day, it is after all in our own selfish interests.  Not wanting to drive the women away and reduce the already falling readership of this blog even further, I do not wish to elucidate on the above mentioned interests!
>>parliament, mech engg and barber shops

Main laila laila chillaoonga kurta phad ke

It has been a while since a post appeared in this category, for most memories are either not worth documenting, or the other extreme where they don’t meet PG-13 standards.  The later years of school is probably the most memorable for many, that is if you’ve gone to a good school. That’s the time when you’re in the school prefectorial body, house captain etc, and your attendance at cultural &  literary events goes higher than the class register. Some of us are even sarcastically addressed to as Mr/Ms.OD(On Duty) or even as visiting-professors. With all this attention that you receive, comes a side-effect as well which is unavoidable. Your growing popularity in school attracts love-struck students of the opposite sex who are high on hindi cinema like flies to a sugarcane-juice stall. Well they can’t be blamed completely after-all the 90’s were full of college romances and in the last decade that came a level lower and spread to school stories. TV shows gave a whole new meaning to the scuffed ties, pleated skirts, school buses and taught us what teen romances were as they opened a new genre of mega-serials.
>> of deewanas and red chaddis

A double always comes with troubles

Sat Sri Akal, Vanakkam, Namaste and local translation to all in their tongues. This is Munna Mobile reporting from the disaster struck South African dressing room that was wrecked by a scindialating(It’s Gwalior and this post is partly sponsored by the Scindias, hence!) inning by the little master last night. ODI no 2962, will be etched in the memories of fans for quite a long now and may also land up as tattoo for fanatics. The other fanatical things that come to mind are phone numbers and license plate numbers,  which I have personally seen after the desert storm game. Worst come worst, it will atleast be a tie-breaker question at quiz clubs around the country on lazy Sunday afternoon. It was a great inning and we were among the privileged few to witness every shot and prayed he reach the milestone, for it was heartening in the Hyderabad game where he was precariously close, yet so far. Many might agree that the day clearly belong to the master who according to many is god, and has been single-handedly reducing the number of atheists for the last twenty years in this country. Our sources however indicate otherwise, and this post is about those people who are hell bent to cash in on the fervor for a piece of the spotlight.
>> Mamta, twitter and even Modi

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