Review: Singh is Kinng – Better seen on trucks

King se maut bhi aise darta hain jaise piracy se Bollywood‘. When a movie opens with such a cheesy line, you go and pull the flush in your head to wipe out all the hype and hope you’ve had. The only reason I sat through this movie was for a glimpse of the damsel on your left and the histrionics of the man they now call ‘Hit Machine‘. It seems to be a trend amongst filmmakers to cash in on an actor’s star value and milk the distributors. We saw it happen with Rajni in Kuselan and now in ‘Singh is Kinng‘. If you noticed an extra alphabet, then that’s not a typo but numerology! I don’t mean to belittle a thespian like Bachchan saab when I say this, but Akshay Kumar is the new King. Remember what the BigB did for movies like ‘Namak halaal‘, ‘Suhaag‘ etc, which would have sunk if not for him, Akki does the same for this generation. In my view ‘Welcome‘, ‘Hey Babyy‘, ‘Namastey London‘ and ‘Bhool Bhulaiya‘ were mediocre films, but hey ran packed houses and stood solely on the broad shoulders of Akki Babu.

I have never liked any of Anees Bazmee’s movies and I find
him
at most
to come of
as a poor-mans-Priyadarshan
I find him at most to come of as a poor-mans-Priyadarshan. His earlier highly touted films like ‘No Entry’ and ‘Welcome’ were barely watchable and now he stakes his claim to be in the league with ‘Priyadarshan‘ and ‘David Dhawan‘. The best he can manage is a confused and cliched climax with people running helter-skelter and that is nowhere near Priyan’s standards. Akshay Kumar is the only saving grace of the film and some moments are really smile-worthy. I was pretty amused by the disclaimer in the beginning bout the chicken and no hard caused to it, they could have just said ‘Blue Cross ke logon lite le lo‘. For a change though Sardars are not ridiculed and are the driving force behind the plot. Have I already mentioned how gorgeous Katrina looks in the movie? Sad thing is that she can’t act, but hey! Do you hear me complain? I have a very broad sense of humor and I do find a man pissing on another’s face laugh worthy. I’m not ashamed to admit that I dig toilet humor but what surprised me was the trajectory. How can you stand beside a man of the same height and still manage to piss on his face? Surely a JEE problem on projectile motion I’d say.

I was shooting for Bhool Bhulaiya in Jaipur when I was driving and I saw this title behind a truck. I called Vipul and I told him we have to make a film with the title ‘Singh is King’. So he asked me, what is the story, who is the director and who will make it? I said, “I don’t know. All I know is that I want to play Singh. (link)

When the basic premise for making a movie is based on a title you want to use, it speaks volumes about your film. I always feel that a movie’s selling point must be it’s story and central plot but not it’s title or starcast. Katrina Kaif must stop talking in Hindi or atleast not yell ‘Yeh tumhe maar daalenge‘ when he is being hounded by bullets! Sonu Sood finally is choosing some good roles after being bashed by the Superstar in ‘Chandramukhi‘. Pray I ask what be the illness where a man cant talk or move but can hear, see think and be used as a drink holder! Of all the actors I felt that Javed Jaffery was trying too hard to be funny and I also failed to see the need for his double role. Om Puri had a few good lines but such roles are demeaning his stature as an actor. I’m glad there were subtitles for some of the Punjabi jokes went over my head. Kiron Kher has yet again donned the mantle of the ‘Dukhiyaari Ma‘ and the successor to Nirupama Roy. Last but not the least, Ranvir Shorey once again manages to play side kick to a girl, two weeks in succession.

I for now discredit all reviews by the Great people at Rediff and IndiaFM and their fans will be ‘unselected’. Such slavish reviews should be disallowed from being published atleast till the opening weekend and thereby not trick unsuspecting viewers like us. I have nothing against reviewers and critics but one must be true to one’s profession. I also hate people who write 80% of the plot as a review and your only incentive to watch the movie is to figure out the climax. I generally don’t rant a lot, but this movie in particular was irritating for all the hype and contests it ran. Another emerging trend I’ve seen is in shooting these catchy music videos and using them as part of your promos, but then the only place they find is during the rolling credits! Poor Snoop Dog doesn’t know that the hall was empty while he was on screen! The movie will ring the cash counters and rode a huge publicity wave after the Prime Minister’s trust vote. I however feel bad for Akshay Kumar and my belligerence is against filmmakers whose primary aim is to not entertain but milk the audience of their money.