Munna my boy, did you know that Diwali today is celebrated by Hindus, Jains, Sikhs and a few Buddhists as well. It’s not rocket science to understand that the lights signify the victory of good over evil, and hence thousands of legends revolve around it.In some parts it signifies the homecoming of Lord Rama to Ayodhya after being exiled. Southern India celebrates it as the day Lord Krishna defeated the demon Narakasura and hence Narakachaturdashi. For the Jains it is the day Lord Mahavira attained nirvana. Catch my point?

There he goes again, showing off
his
cross-cultural knowledgeshowing off his cross-cultural knowledge but then whats the point I say? What are you celebrating about, a dwindling economy, a handicapped government, rising fuel prices, a deeply hit banking sector or terror attacks? Can’t you see that the message is clearly written on the wall? Hell if the film industry is refraining from releasing any big films then that itself accentuates the sorry state of affairs. I had hinted this earlier when some big banners postponed their releases, but then it was shot down by people as editing problems and post production. Malls and big stores don’t seem to have any so-called maha offers like ek-lo-ek-muft type etc. Spending power is at an all time low and households are cash strapped, so where do you get the oil/ghee for your diyas? Where do you get the money to gamble at taash parties? What gives you a reason to celebrate at take your family to the movies when even buying popcorn and butter puffs is hard to come by? Pray I ask, what gives us a reason to celebrate, when people are blowing up each other in the name of god. People are afraid to send their kids out to play with fireworks for they may be caught in the real explosions. Do you really want to welcome the winter this way? Let’s see what Baba has to say.

Munna you pessimistic fool, the world doesn’t revolve around your film industry. For you it may but then don’t look at the world using the same lens. Terror knows no religion, a bomb never asks whether you wear a cross or a tilak. So what if there is not enough money at the tables of taash parties? So what if malls and stores aren’t luring you with offers? So what if there are no major movie releases? So what if there isn’t enough to even light diyas? These may seem as deterrents but they don’t kill the human spirit, not one bit. We still buy gold  and welcome Godess Lakshmi to our homes. We still write new checks with a Shree Ganesh hoping that the coming year will at least fare better. The diyas though less in number still usher prosperity and all hopes lie on it. There may be explosions and today terror may reign supreme, but that doesn’t stop people from coming out of their houses and sharing the joy with their neighbors. We still let our kids go out and play as the fireworks light up the sky. Diwali marks the triumph of the human spirit, an undying spirit that cannot bog down to terror threats, religious fanaticism or even a fragile economy.

Wah Wah Baba, kya baat hain! This was even better than BigB’s speechbetter than BigB’s speech in the climax of Mohabbatein! You should seriously audition for YRF! You definitely hit the nail on its head when you spoke about hope and the human spirit. May the enthusiasm of young kids drive away the hatred that we adults have created in the name of god. The fireworks light up the ammavasya sky as we savor sweets with our fingers smeared with gun powder. I somehow miss my annual intake of gunpowder, the deafening sound of the atom and kingkong bombs. Waking up at five in the morning(The only time I ever see the sunrise!), and the customary oil-bath. The 1000-wala and 5000-wala garlands, the rockets, 12-stars and parachutes. I miss the innocence of blowing things up like empty baskets as they are tossed up in the air! Blowing up sewer lids, open drains, dustbins and even repacking gunpowder to make our own bombs! The worst of all though was stealing petrol from someones motorcycle in a soft drink bottle, and then stuffing a rag at it’s neck. Man the splinters that flew from it had to be surgically removed! Damn, don’t we miss those days or what? I know not all are weird like us and so on behalf of all of us from Dappn Koothu, here’s wishing everyone a happy, prosperous and safe Diwali!

(Image courtesy: Shrikrishna Pundoor)

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Saawariya

First Saawariya: One look at the poster(I <3 that peacock!) and it screams the words ‘Sanjay Leela Bhansali’. Color is a conspicuous feature in all his films like Hum dil.. which was all orange, then came Devdas which was all red, Black was shot in grey and now Saawariya is in blue. Even the music screams his name and any song in the album(not necessarily the title track) will tell you that it’s has the SLB signature. Melody has been the high point of the music in all his films, and this time is no different. Very few people like SLB, Yash Chopra, Aamir Khan etc sit through all the recording sessions irrespective of who the composer is. This perseverance and hard work reflects in the audio, as every tune is very sooth and easy listening. A collectors item and a must for every long romantic drive. The music just grows on you as you keep listening and if you have no idea of what I’m talking then here is a good place to start with. From what I hear the plot seems pretty weak but then we just want to see the breathtaking sets, cinematography, and SLB’s story telling abilities. The promos reveal nothing but a Hindu-boy-loves-muslim-girl angle, but we know(hope) that SLB is capable of much more than that and wait for the saga to unfold on screen.

OSO is a film that is completely the opposite of everything that Saawariya stands for. Loud jarring music with a retro feel, the story line is a comic spoof of the movies of the 70′s, complete masala movie with laughs, dances, action sequences, stunts, and slapstick comedy. Except for a couple of songs the rest are passable but they audio is a mega hit owing to the hyped marketing behind it. The songs will be shot in super locales with SRK spreading his arms and though I abhor it now, I’m gonna be hooting when he does it on screen. SRK has always said that he is his own PR person. Given the fact that he is pitted against a production house that will not bat an eyelid when it comes to splurging dough, SRK has gone to media and the small screen. Every reality show has had an OSO special like ‘Sa Re Ga Ma Pa‘(Zee), ‘Nach Baliye‘(Star+), ‘Koffee with Karan‘(Star1) etc. Even the most popular news channel CNN-IBN carries a dance challenge where winners get to meet SRK. The Hindustan Times leadership summit was also used as an able platform to talk about his 6-pack. A lot of heroes(read John Abraham, Hrithik etc) must be kicking themselves in teh rear for their perfectly sculpted bodies never attracted such attention as the 40yr old superstar. The story of OSO is out and bears no suspense unlike Saawariya which is a closely guarded secret. The movie has a strong ‘Karz‘ flavor and one of the songs seems like a tribute to the Subhash Ghai flick. OSO definitely looses to Saawariya when the totality of the album is taken into picture, but with a free autographed poster of the most famous 6-pack in the country OSO wins on audio sales. Latest news is that OSO has teamed up with MTV-India for the Lycra style awards and thereby adding some more weight to already heavy scales.

Let’s summarize things

• Saawariya
  • Big names like Sony pictures and Sanjay Leela Bhansali
  • Melodious and long lasting music by Monty Sharma
  • Debutant star kids Sonam and Ranbir Kapoor(both looking average)
  • Fantastics sets, cinematography
  • Slow and soulful both the music and the movie
  • Weak yet concealed storyline depends heavily on the master story teller SLB
• Om Shanti Om
  • SRK, SRK and SRK
  • Catchy and peppy tunes with a retro feel by Vishal-Shekar
  • Making her debut and looking absolutely stunning Deepika Padukone and supported by the talented Shreyas Talpade
  • Has all the ingredients of a masala blockbuster, comedy, romance, action and above all SRK!
  • Farah Khan‘s direction will promise awesome locales, and breath taking song-and-dance sequences
  • Terrific small screen promotion with all prime time slots booked
  • Free poster with audio CD has sales hitting a new high

Well Sony Pictures may have all the money and SLB may have his classy touch, the movie will definitely be technically supreme and a sure nominee at every award ceremony. But they don’t have something that OSO has and probably the reason why OSO will take a dinosaur share of the BO opening and the producers of OSO will be the ones smiling in the end. Ladies and Gentlemen that something is…….
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The six-pack-khan Shahrukh Khan

* author does a sashtanga namaskaram *

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