“I can sense your anger akka and relate to how you are feeling about this as well“, said Saras as she tried to comfort Lux. “Guess we need to hire some good publicists or atleast a PR agent. Hun kone
sampark karu?Hun kone sampark karu? Some avant grade image building is required to woo the bhaktas our way, else Dee is going to enjoy prime position year after year“. Lux was contemplating extreme measures to counter her dwindling popularity, more so since the new generation was oblivious to the goodness for the works like Amar Chitra katha etc. “Seriya chonne akka, I don’t have any temples dedicated to me as well, except for a handful. The only time these kids are reminded of my existence is when they recite the school prayer“, wailed a visibly angry Saras. The poor thing was pretty blind the the ultra-modern school systems these days where the morning prayers are more or rather general so as to steer clear of accusations of appeasing certain gods. In a bid to stay away from the secular forces, all you hear these days in schools is the ‘Humko mann ki shakti dena‘ type songs. There are some schools that make sanskrit a compulsory subject and open on Vijaya Dasami day thereby symbolically showing over-enthusiastic parents how they are guarding our culture.

“Tumi ki chai? That I give up everything? I can share the food with you girls if you want, that’s the most I can do“, gleamed Dee who was now disturbed by the motives of her fellow first ladies. “Oooi ma! Tumi
kotha theke
asecho, BabaOooi ma! Tumi kotha theke asecho, Baba” She shrieked as she finally found me hiding behind the huge shami tree. “Ada Paavi, you’ve been eavesdropping on us all this while. Didnt your mommy not teach you any manners or atleast the courtesy to not eavesdrop when women gossip“, quipped Saras. “Tamey kem cho Baba, weren’t you supposed to be here a while ago? Anyways you seem to be the right person to solve our dilemma“, Lux spotted the opportunity to bring me onto her side and wasted no time with it. “My apologies my lovely ladies but I was just trying to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. Pray do tell me how this humble servant of yours can be of any assistance“, I tried playing my most innocent card. “You see myself and Lux akka are miffed that Dee akka gets all the spoils for the nine day festival. We think we need to give our images a makeover“, rattled the Goddess of wisdom. “Ah a makeover, so you want to appeal the the youth of the nation I see. Giving them something that they can more relate to will make more sense and I concur“, that seemed quite logical to me to keep up with the changing times.

“I like the idea, let me start by trading my lotus for a more posh La-Z-Boy recliner, that will make me groovy wouldn’t it?that will make me groovy wouldn’t it?“, Lux was bloating with enthusiasm on her smart choice of furniture. “Tomake ki bola geche, your place is as your patidev’s feet only. You either seat yourself on a lotus or pressing your hubby’s feet on a coiled up giant serpent. OK let me go ahead and say it, you are the most celebrated masseuse in Indian mythology. Kids these days like women who are independent and hold their own more like me you see!“, Dee was on a roll as she pwned Lux. We all know how angry Dee can get for even the strongest of gods considering bowing to her as the smartest thing to do. She definitely wins points on the independent and cool index, leaving poor Lux to sulk. It’s true, these days with all the new confident woman of today, you have people who would earlier yell at your from the kitchen, do the same in a war-room over death by powerpoint! Not to sound to MSPish, but then its the new avtaar and the best way to maintain peace is for us to suck up to them! I’m pretty sure that someone was in his senses when he said, If you can’t fight them you better join them!

“Apdina I should replace my Veena with a Gibson EDS-1275 and play ‘Stairway to heaven‘, that will win me plenty of groupiesthat will win me plenty of groupies!“, Saras was getting all creative as she was harboring thoughts of creating a metal band called Bramha’s Vengeance!. I wondered how Saras and her metal band would look with their spiked hair and weird gothic tattoos. For a minute the visual of her standing on a ledge singing ‘Bring me to life‘ briefly floated in my head as well, only to pinch myself and come back to reality. Dee who was quite amused by the conversation, pitched in with her own suggestions for a makeover. “Maybe I should let go of my faithful Lion and get myself one of those speedy ‘Harley Davidson – Dyna superglides‘. Imagine how cool that would be to worship a biker-chick zipping through the streets and fighting demons and amar hathe kato gulo laser guns aache“.  Well you know how women tend to get carried away with their non stop prattle and it was wise to let them go on with their gossip and make a move. Well that was surely fun and I shall be back for more next time, till then…………..

PS: Some liberties have been taken with the languages, so kindly adjust. Galti se kabhi kabhi bymistake ho jata hain!

PPS: We aren’t accepting any applications to try out for Bramha’s Vengeance, either contact Himesh Reshammiya or Anu Malik!

(Image courtesy: caminhodomeio)

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BB: Hey Dee, welcome to Dappan Koothu and I must add you are looking gorgeous!

Dee: Oh thank you and can I call you BB? cos I’ve practiced a few zingers where I call you BB.

BB: No seriously, you are looking a billion bucks. You are after all the epitome of Indian beauty you know!

Dee: Hush! Don’t you mention the words 700 or billion or dollars in the same sentence. The next thing you know they’d be looking at your spa retreats!

BB: Ok fine, but while I am on it I must again reiterate on the looks and especially the eyes!

Dee: Oh stop it baba, when will you learn to stop hitting on me? You know my son’s will not tolerate any of this. Do I even have to remind you of my husband’s wrath? You don’t have a Rati Devi to cry for you as well.

BB: Oh my proximity to the white house and the first family should keep me safe. And plus I’m tight with your elder son, he was here a couple of weeks ago.

Dee: Oh yea he did have a bad cold, Strange thing is he never falls ill in Kailasha.

BB: It’s the water, you’ve seem to have taken to it pretty well I see. So tell me aren’t you bored with the beaten to death Mahishasura concept?

Dee: I’m not making a film or a mega serial here to stick to formulae and concepts.

BB: Agreed but then year and year we talk of the same tale and the same slaying of the buffalo demon. Don’t you think people need something new, something more refreshing?

Dee: Kindly elucidate Baba, you have a TRP system for us as well? Are my ratings falling?

BB: It’s not about falling ratings but the new generation needs something more contemporary. Something that they can relate to.

Dee: So are you hinting that they are losing faith? Are you trying to question the very roots of mythology?

BB: My lady, I dare not! I have been observing that there somewhere
seems
to be
a disconnectthere somewhere seems to be a disconnect and people take part in festivities only because they are forced to and not out of devotion. Durga Pujo is now reduced to a show of power with heavyweights showering money on the pandals. it’s war between pandals as they fight for popularity and media glare. Garbas are reduced to glorified discotheques and seen just as an excuse to get cozy. The outfits are getting sexed up with backless cholis,  spaghetti straps and plunging necklines. Young hearts sweat and dance all night and then get on with it later on. Ram Leela is more of a political exercise where local parties use it as an excuse to deliver rhetoric speeches and garner the mandate of the people. Golus in the south are no better and are now just an excise to dress up and show of your best jewellery and silk. The dolls are just a placebo as women sit and gossip about the flings of their children. So tell me Dee, where is the devotion? Are you not able to see what I see or do you just don’t want to?

Dee: Well I do see what you are trying to imply but then you must be having a solution as well. What do you propose?

BB: Ah what I can tell the Eternal Mother herself? But then with economies crashing, terrorism spreading, bombs going off, banks closing, prices rising and markets tumbling, why can’t you pick one of these asuras? Aren’t these affecting your children? Aren’t they causing more worries currently? Pick one of them say terrorism and that shall rekindle the faith, devotion what say?

Dee: Modern day asuras eh? Interesting proposition but then there is a fundamental problem. I don’t have to bother about my falling TRP if you may. We are never in a rat race for devotion TRPs, it just doesn’t work that way.

BB: Doesn’t the suffering of your innocent kids bother you? Don’t you feel the need to step in and free them of their misery? And come on, its the prayers, faith and devotion that makes you gods stronger, so I’d say it’s a fair call.

Dee: The asuras we slew wanted to take over and rule the worlds. They tormented the hapless and took innocent lives. We had to answer to their cries and end the reign of injusticeend the reign of injustice.  I see the comparison you make with your modern day asuras.  They are also fanatical and wish to take over the world. They take up arms in the name of their god and spread havoc that claims the lives of innocent millions. It’s more of insecurity and an inferiority complex that pushes them to the verge that they want to stamp their supremacy on all. The asuras we slew were greedy for power and wanted to be the supreme rulers. here, its not greed but fear of being wiped out of existence. What do you do when you corner a cat to the wall? It screams and scratches anyone in sight! So you see Baba, there is a fundamental difference.

BB: Oh Dee, you’ve got me in knots. Are you trying to justify all this then?

Dee: All I am saying is that a few greedy people are taking advantage of this insecurity and religions tension. They twist and turn the vulnerable minds their way and preach their own version of religion. There definitely is greed, and this is being used to polarize forces towards other religions and the general public across religions. If you are brainwashed and made to believe that a particular country or religion is a threat to your existence, you will pick up arms and go on the offensive. Like someone once said ‘offense is the best defense‘.

BB: So waht are you implying?

Dee: If you spill hot coffee on your dress, you’re responsible. You created the mess you are in, so clean it yourselves! My husband just texted me, so I’ve got to leave.

BB: Ah Dee that sure makes sense! Thank you and once again you’re gorgeous, I might hug you!

Baba Bangali

(Image courtesy: Maheronline)

PS: The Powerpuff girls is an Emmy award winning show on Cartoon Network. All references are only in jest and not to be taken seriously.

PPS: The Sarah Palin references were totally intended and I have no qualms about them. Flame me!

PPPS: Have a great Dushera/Vijaydasami

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